I’m not sure exactly when it began, but for as long as I can remember I have been ridiculously indecisive. As you might imagine, this poses all sorts of annoying, seemingly excessive and almost humorous challenges. Figuring out what to wear in the morning is a painfully long process, and forget about picking out an outfit the night before, that’s obviously entirely too much pressure. Choosing a restaurant to eat at takes approximately three days, and once I’m there it takes another three days to actually choose what I’m going to eat. When people ask me what my favorite movie, book, food or anything else is, I often just say the first thing that comes to my mind or resort to the classic: “I don’t really have a favorite,” because the amount of time it would take to weigh all the options and make sure I’m not accidentally forgetting about the world’s best movie that I forgot that I saw that one rainy night six years ago is really just not worth it. I applied to 11 colleges and didn’t decide where I was going to be attending until two days before the deadline, and this is actually the fifth article that I’ve started while sitting in this chair, simply because I have the wonderful disease of indecisiveness. What can I say – I guess it chooses the best of us.

But indecisiveness is so much more than being incredibly slow in the process of making decisions; it’s reflective of caution, insecurity and care. Most of the time the difficult decisions aren’t the ones between a good and a bad option, they’re the ones between good and great. As someone self-diagnosed with indecisiveness, I can say that there are so many factors to consider when making even the simplest of decisions. When I’m deciding where I want to go out to eat for a special occasion, there’s no such thing as a favorite restaurant. I have to consider which restaurant has the best appetizers, the best chicken, the nicest waiters, the most comfortable temperature and the best lighting. Then there’s also the consideration that goes into what other people like. What restaurant will satisfy everyone that I’m going with? Which has the friendliest environment? Not only do I have to consider all of these things, but I’m expected to somehow decide which of my options fulfills the most of these requirements in a brief amount of time? Yeah right.

Saying I’m indecisive doesn’t do justice to the thoughts running through my head. Indecisiveness means so much more. It means that I consider every option, possibly in unnecessary detail, but nonetheless very thoroughly. When I’m making a decision, I care a lot about how it will affect other people or myself and I want to do everything I can to increase my chances of making the right one. I don’t want to rush into anything and I’m scared of making a mistake. My inability to easily make decisions is in part a manifestation of my desire to get things right. So the next time you’re frustrated with someone who just can’t make up their mind, just remember they’re probably similar to me. They just want you to be happy and they really want to get things right.