Just a few days ago, I missed my first class for the third time. This was my last time I could miss class before my perfect grade of 100 started dropping. Obviously, I didn't miss my class on purpose, I just woke up late and I didn't have time to get ready. I grabbed my phone after waking up, and I texted my friend, which ended up also waking up late and missing her first class. Why am I telling you this? We ended up having a conversation about how we would never miss class or be late if we didn't have to wake up so early to get ready. This sparked something in my brain.
Some girls, like myself, have to wake up before the sun just to do our hair and makeup for school. You probably just rolled your eyes. Hear me out, though. I don't have anyone to impress at school, God knows. I just feel the need to be presentable and look put together. I do know of some girls who don't feel the need to put a drop of makeup on or even brush their hair to go to school. It's just school, right?
Wrong. To me, it's a social setting. It's a place where there are people. Those people have brains that create thoughts and ideas and opinions of a person. I am an insecure person, and the fact that people have the ability to have a negative opinion about me leaves me feeling a little unsettled. Trust me, I'm working on it, and I've gotten much better than I used to be. However, I always think there will be some part of me that will hold in insecurity in some sense. I may just handle it better in the future than I do now.
Social media has been responsible for destroying thousands of girls' self esteem for years. Acne or uneven skin tone isn't accepted, so we feel the need to cover it up. We can't go out without our eyebrows reaching society's standard of "fleek-ness". How and why in the world did eyebrows become such a big deal in the first place? We have to make sure what we wear is acceptable; not too slutty or not too modest, or else our names will be tossed around like a rag doll because the society we live in today is too much of a hypocrite to deal with their own problems.
Who is we, though? We are the millions of people who have to deal with some sort of insecurity or mental illness, be it anxiety, depression, or whatever the case may be. We are the millions of people who have to constantly worry about how society perceives us. We are the millions of people who would rather the world be a bit more accepting to these "flaws" we were born with. We are the millions of people who have been told we shouldn't care, or to "get over it."
It's not that easy. However, we will get better. I'm not sure when, but I believe there will be a day that stumbles upon each of us and we will be rid of all the negativity and judgement we've faced. Whether it be in our control or not, I believe it will happen. I will continue to work through my insecurities and hope that more people will judge a person by their heart, not their appearance. Until then, I blame my insecurities for making me late.
