Since the year 2000, when Crossfit Inc. was first founded, Crossfit gyms have appeared like the plague around the nation and it is obviously destroying humanity.
The top three reasons to hate Crossfit consist primarily of:
1. Crossfitters are douchebags who use the word ‘bro’ or ‘bruh’ or ‘breh’ or ‘brah’ religiously. (Watch the video to see what I mean)
2. Crossfit is dangerous and causes a lot of injuries.
3. People pay too much money to workout.
I stumbled across this awesome article called The Perfect Explanation to Why We Hate Crossfitters that gives the most valid and well thought out reason why Crossfit is the worst thing ever:
“Look, I totally comprehend how it’s a ‘manly’ thing to do Crossfit and have that ridiculous body but if you’re showing up to a cookout primarily for the protein and not the cleavage and sundresses, you are not a real man. You’re just a random guy with aggressive veins eating too much chicken.
If you’re a girl who is really into Crossfit, then…my advice to you is to ditch the Crossfit studio and walk next door to the Yoga studio. Guys want to see you in tree pose, not literally picking up a tree.”
[Drops the mic]
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Because ‘real men’ go to cookouts for cleavage and sundresses, not for food… who eats anyways? Because women’s only purpose in this world is to be sexually objectified when working out. Am I right or am I right?
As a female who is into fitness, the only reason I exercise is because I want to make sure all the guys see me looking good. I don’t actually go to get strong or anything ridiculous like that. I want someone to only see me as a helpless female that can’t lift a heavy box and needs a “real man” by her side at all times. I would never want to be badass enough to lift double my body weight because then no guy would ever want me… and I obviously would have no purpose in life if I didn’t have someone’s attention at all times.
Not only that, but Crossfit gyms just want to take all your lunch money. It’s so much more expensive than the gym. But it’s not like they have certified trainers personally showing you how to properly do all the movements, making sure you don’t get injured. It’s not like a classroom setting has been proven over and over again to make you more motivated to work harder. It’s not like the community of friendly competition pushes you past what you thought you were capable of doing. It’s not like you are surrounded by awesome people who want you to beat your last benchmark. It’s not like it actually gets you fit anyways… psh.
It’s not like I don’t do the same workout at a regular gym… I definitely work just as hard on my own, sprinting across the gym floor, doing burpees, box jumps, cleans and kettle bell swings in the middle of the gym by myself. Who doesn’t see this at the gym on the regular?
Plus, Crossfit is dangerous. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve broken my bones because I refused to work out with a weight that was sustainable for the amount of reps I was doing. All I care about is lifting the most weight possible as many times as I can until I pass out or break something. #goals
Bodybuilders are the ultimate haters of Crossfit because they’re too busy bulking, making #gainz and hate the intensity of Crossfit… who wants to work out that hard and look like this?
Or this?
Crossfit is clearly pointless. The membership fee only goes towards injuries and workouts everyone already does at home on their own. The people are so rude and unsupportive of my fitness goals, which only consist of looking good to attract a partner. It’s not even fun, bro.
I’d rather just go to the gym and take selfies anyways. I want people to know I am working out and have creepy guys stare at me the whole time. And I don’t even want to have any sort of muscle, be good at Olympic weightlifting or have a supportive community that pushes me to go hard. I’ll just go run on the treadmill, because I can’t do that at home…
