I was so excited for what God had for me at college. I knew that He was going to use me in extraordinary ways and that He would give me the ability to led others to Him. For about two weeks, I was waiting patiently for the opportunity. I was ready to meet my new best friends who would lead me in the right direction and hold me accountable. I was ready to start singing in a local church and form relationships there. I was waiting.
Pretty soon, I discovered another side of college. I found my new best friends but instead of going to church with them, I was going out to bars with them. I was so eager for the weekend to come so I could live my new life of freedom. I got further off the track that I had worked so hard to build in 3 months than I knew was even possible. The shame and regret that was built up inside of me was overtaking my life. I had the opportunity to represent Jesus and gave it up for things that were unbelievably lesser.
I felt like the God that I once knew so well wanted nothing to do with me – and I didn’t blame him. It felt like the movies where a girl ditches her true friends to be popular. I imagined God standing outside watching while I was at parties and enjoying my new lifestyle. But the thing about the movies is that the true friends never leave.
As much as I try to fight it, God has called me higher. He has placed a longing in my heart for something much more than what this earth can offer me. He was with me while I was forging my own path and He is with me while I try to find my way back. The devil tried to use things of the earth to make me forget why I am here but His spirit was stronger.
In order to live, you have to die. You have to lose your life – your interests, your desires, your comfort – in order to receive life from the Father.
Dying to self. Denying yourself momentary happiness to find everlasting joy in Jesus. Revelation 3:20 says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and him with me.” He wants us. He desires us. He is constantly reaching out to know us deeper.
“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever” Isaiah 40:8. We have been placed on the earth for one life with one purpose. He will equip us to do what He has created us to do. Our bodies are grass and flowers that will diminish upon His return. The best thing we can do with our lives is give them completely to Jesus.
As important as it is to do well in school or to work hard to get the promotion, never forget why you’re here. Whether you accept the call on your life from the beginning, or you have to get so far off track that you need Him to lead you back to His path, I promise that He won’t give up. His love is fierce and uncontained.
So take a minute in the midst of the busy season and reflect on how much room God has to work in your life. I used to get so frustrated when I wouldn’t see Him working but in order for him to come in, I have to take my own selfishness out of the equation. The verse doesn’t say, “Behold, I break into your house and eat with you.” It says, “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.” Let Him in.
In order to live, you have to die.
