As a young woman who consumes a lot of media, specifically fictional media, I’ve noticed something very particular about the recurring narrative of the Strong Female Character--or at least the woman society defines as one.

The Strong Female Character is emotionally unreliant. She doesn’t need anyone to lean on, or a shoulder to cry on--because she doesn’t cry. She’s a wall, so to speak, because nothing affects her. If it does, it doesn’t make her sad, it makes her angry; a force to be reckoned with seeking revenge.

The Strong Female Character is a badass. Because at some point in her life, she was trained with a particular set of skills, be it gunmanship from her police officer father, knowledge of swords because of an ancient family secret, or the ability to throw a proper punch because of a “tough” life on the streets.

The Strong Female Character doesn’t need a significant other, and makes it very clear to everyone around them. She’s independent and stands as a pillar, often inciting awe in those around her. She’s untouchable.

I could go on and on about what the media tries to tell me is what the Strong Female Character is, and it’s made me come to a forgone conclusion:

I don’t want to be the Strong Female Character.

At least, not the one who's pushed in front of my face. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing to be able to turn on my television and see a woman like Michonne on "The Walking Dead" wrecking a hoard of zombies with her katanas. In a world where media consistently places only men front and center when it comes to hardened, battle weary warriors, Michonne is a beacon.

But I’m not Michonne. I’m Beth Greene.

Everyone watching "The Walking Dead" can say if the zombie apocalypse were to come, they’d be able to pull it together, be ready and start to knock down zombies left and right. But I know I wouldn’t be able to. I’d be Beth, who, when faced with the reality everything and everyone she once knew was gone, broke. She cried. A lot. Her world fell apart and she fell with it; and then, she got up. She became the emotional support of the group; when things got dark, Beth got positive. Beth would sing. Beth was smiles and warmth and love and optimism. She’s not completely useless, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not a warrior. And that doesn’t make her not strong.

I feel like it’s time we erase the stereotype for a female character to be a Strong Female Character, she has to fulfill all the stereotypes of a Strong Male Character.

Take Ella, as seen in the 2015 adaptation of Cinderella, for example. Her recurring narrative is simply “have courage and be kind”. She does not fight. She does not become cruel or cold, she does not push away from the support being given to her by the man she fell in love with; no, Ella is kind to those who were cruel to her, teaches the people around her with her bravery in extreme circumstances, and forgives the wrongs done to her. She makes the prince a better person with her words, and loving him does not make her any less of a strong woman. She cannot hold a sword. And she cries. But believe me when I say this:

Ella is a Strong Female Character.

Part of this comes with a misunderstanding of the concept of feminism; one where we believe women have to be above men, when truly feminism is about equality for all kinds of women. As a society, we often forget the many different types of women who exist in our world. But doing stereotypically “female” things does not make a woman less “feminist”.

Natasha Romanoff is no less deadly because she’s in love with Bucky Barnes.

Rey is still a powerful force user even though she still hurts over her missing family.

Leslie Knope is not a weak female character because she makes mistakes and leans on her friends from time to time.

Often, the humanity in female characters we love is what makes them real. There are so many different types of women out there and every girl’s dream is to be able to look at a screen or page and say, “Look! She’s like me.” So why do we often find ourselves shaming writers for characters who don’t fit the traditional “strong” mold?

Elizabeth Bennett of "Pride and Prejudice" does not betray her morals when she admits to herself she’s fallen in love with Mr. Darcy; in fact, she’s pointed out a major problem we have to face. That is to say that doing something traditionally “feminine” does not affect who we are as women and women who choose to serve those roles in society are no less than any other women. Being single does not make you a better feminist or a stronger woman than a married woman and vice versa; the same goes for having a family or choosing to have a career or go to school, and so on and so on.

I’m not "the" strong female character, but I’m definitely "a" strong female character.

And while I may not be able to aim a blaster or throw a punch, I can definitely be a positive force in the world.

That’s all that matters.