One app that has gotten a lot of social media attention in the era of “Netflix and Chill” is Tinder. For all intents and purposes, I would describe Tinder as a modern day hot or not. Essentially, people create their profile, and can browse the profiles of other app users in their general vicinity. While browsing, a “left swipe” indicates a rejection, while a “right swipe” or the ever-desirable “Super Like” indicate that the other person finds your profile intriguing or likes the dad joke you have in your bio. (Pro tip, dudes love dad jokes).
It seems like a pretty harmless app, although this harmlessness is offset by the occasional thirsty, lascivious moron. Something that I’ve been giving a good deal of thought is this: why do people love Tinder so much? And I think I’ve found at least some vestige of an answer.
It’s simple. In general, people like to be complimented. They enjoy the attention they receive when one of their favorite traits gets noticed by someone else. I know I personally appreciate it a great deal when receiving a compliment from a stranger in person, even if it’s as small as “Hey I like what you did with your hair.” Why should this phenomenon be any different online? I love complimenting people I run into on the street or in my building and seeing how their face changes into a smile. Who doesn’t enjoy making other people’s days? I think it’s one of the nicest things a person can do, just because of the fact that people live such different lives and sometimes need a pick-me-up.
One might argue that the atmosphere is completely different over an app, and I’d have to agree with that sentiment. The most important thing to remember is to know your boundaries. A lesson I grew up with is to “never put anything incriminating in writing”. In essence, don’t write anything graphic, anything containing swear words, or anything just plain mean in writing. What do you have to gain from being a bully to a person who might just be lonely?
Along a similar vein, not everyone is on an app like this to get lucky, so to speak. Some are just seeking company. Some have a rough home life, or a terrible self-image, and they just want to feel wanted. How can we judge this person’s actions? As humans, we crave interaction. And while this particular form of communication may have a questionable reputation, so many things that are considered commonplace in this day and age used to be considered just as taboo. Shorts, for example. Shorts are an article of clothing that I see worn almost daily (albeit not as much since moving to Boston). If we judged people as much for wearing shorts as we did for using Tinder, we’d be wasting a good deal of time and energy on tearing someone else down for their choices. I personally am a big believer in minding my own business. If someone wants to wear shorts that might be perceived as too short, let them. If they want to eat ice cream for every meal of the day (which is a solid choice), it’s not my place to judge. If they want to have a profile on Tinder, who cares? When thinking about this unnecessarily controversial topic, I’m only left with one question, why do we care so much about others’ choices?
