I’m sure if I asked you to think of a woman who is brave, bold, and unapologetic in all aspects of her life, you could name a few. Maybe you think of celebrities, such as Nicki Minaj or Amy Poehler. Maybe you think of fictional characters, such as Blair Waldorf or Brooke Davis. Maybe you even think of your friends or yourself.
The women I am referring to are typically branded “Divas.”
Diva.
What a fun word.
If you look up “Diva,” there are some seriously conflicting definitions.
Some sites define a diva as an independent, headstrong woman; others write the term off as a woman with a flair for drama and vanity. Is a diva dramatic? Sure. However, drama does not equate to rudeness. A rude person is a rude person. Divas can be rude, but so can non-divas.
Look at Mindy Kaling. She’s got some serious flair for drama, she’s bold and vivacious in every aspect of her life, and homegirl never apologizes for staying true to her vision. She’s a total boss, hate-slaying diva. She’s also incredibly kind. She’s philanthropic. She speaks up for girls everywhere. She’s a good person AND a diva.
See what I mean? Diva and “rude person” are not synonymous.
To me, a diva is any woman who owns her life in every way possible. She is a woman with a fierce spirit who continues on in the face of the criticism she faces for not adhering to “the norm.” She is a woman who never holds back. I’d say most of my friends are divas. They’re all independent, sassy, empowered people. Yeah, I spend my time with a bunch of divas, but I would never want it any other way.
Divas run things everywhere. They are the ones staying true to their own vision and integrity. They are the ones constantly creating new work. They are the ones trying to change things for the better. They are the ones dancing through life, speed bumps and all.
However, divas receive a lot of flack because they do exactly what they want, and never ask for permission or look for validation. This is rather expected because if you’re a woman and you want to take up any space in this world, then you will inevitably be criticized. Yet, when you refuse to take up space, you become a doormat.
Doormats want to be liked. And don’t get me wrong, EVERYONE wants to be liked. However, at some point I think we all learn that whether or not you do everything right and whether or not you put everyone else before you, there will always be at least one person who does not like you. I mean look at Princess Diana, she was such an inspiring woman, and people still criticized everything she did.
If you’re always being the doormat people come to wipe their feet on, then you will never accomplish what you want. You can put yourself first, and still be a good, kind, wholesome person. I promise.
When I call someone a diva, I mean it as a compliment. Diva originally translated to “female deity” or “Goddess.” So, next time someone calls you a diva, send some love their way because they just straight up called you a Goddess. The word has only evolved into an insult because some people have no idea how to handle an assertive woman. Therefore, a word once associated with the empowerment of strong women like Diana Ross has become something people brand girls with an eye roll or a sneer. When a woman is criticized for being too “difficult” or “too much,” she is called a diva. It’s a word meant to suppress this kind of woman, but this type of woman should never be suppressed. We need her. She serves as a model of strength for every other girl feeling down on herself.
Speaking of “girls feeling down on themselves,” I do not understand the obsession with condemning and shaming girls who love themselves. Self-love is the highest form of self-respect there is, and with a culture that is constantly shoving this message that “you’re not good enough” down our throats, loving yourself is the biggest act of defiance. A woman who is at ease with herself and her so-called “imperfections” is powerful. It’s like the great Arianna Huffington preached: “There is something fundamentally wrong with hating yourself.” We should celebrate these empowered women, not tear them down. That’s why we need to take back the negative connotation surrounding the term “diva.”
Be difficult. Be too much. Carve your own path. Take up space, and don’t listen to the background noise. Be fierce. Be unapologetic. Be unstoppable. Be a diva.
