I am the most unladylike human being on this planet. That may sound hyperbolic, but I can promise it's true. I also don't really care too much.

I curse. A lot. I drop the f-bomb like it's my f***king job. I can't even control it half the time. The words are out of my mouth before I have any time to censor them. My dad often criticizes my sisters and I for our "disgusting mouths," uncertain as to how he "raised a bunch of truck drivers." For starters, where in the hell does he think we got it from? If we're being totally honest, most of the time, I'm not really that sorry about it. I get excited, angry, frustrated, elated, etc., quite often. What better way to express that to the people around me then with colorful language? Nothing is as freeing and stress relieving than screaming a string of curses, and no one can tell me different. Trying to make everything sound like sunshine and daisies is not on my to-do list anytime soon.

I have zero qualms about burping in public. Again: not really sorry about it. More often than not, I don't even realize it's happening before it's already happened, and at that point, it's too late. Why is burping so taboo anyway? It's not like it's some big secret. Man, woman, baby: we all burp. Why is it some societal norm to conceal burps and brush them under the rug? Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) you just have to burp. We all need to stop pretending and start burping more.

I'm literally never comfortable in a dress or makeup and will go to the ends of the earth to avoid both. I don't own a pair of heels, nor does my makeup expertise go beyond an eyelash curler and some mascara. I am all about efficiency at this point in my life, and usually that means getting as much sleep as humanly possible, pulling out clean clothes that hopefully match and getting my ass out the door in a somewhat timely (usually late) fashion. Cutting out those precious extra few minutes is not, and never will be, in my agenda. And guess what? The whole world knows that I, like other human beings, don't have a "natural smoky eye" (what does that even mean?), and I'm more than OK with that.

I think it is imperative to throw away this idea of acting ladylike. My mom would sometimes throw it around as an insult when I was younger. I had a knack for wearing dresses and sitting with my legs spread a little too far apart. I mean, I was a kid, for god's sake. Regardless, we're all just humans trying to make sense of this crazy world. Drop a few f-bombs. Burp really loudly next time you're at a restaurant. It's liberating to live this life while you're in it, no matter what that looks like to others. And so I'll continue being "unladylike." And loving every second of it.