Dear Impractical Jokers, I Hope You Know

Dear Impractical Jokers, I Hope You Know

What could I do without you guys?

Alyssa Paluch
Alyssa Paluch Oct 23, 2018
44
views

Dear Tenderloins from Staten Island, Impractical Jokers, a quartet of the funniest men in the world... you are literally the best. What could I do without you guys?

When your show started becoming a hit, I gave y'all a try. I thought you guys were hilarious, with a little twist of inappropriate every now and then. It's okay, I liked that. I thought it was funny when it was happening to other people, and they would have no clue.

Then, you guys gained fame, and then you gained more of my attention and more of my time. You were on my TV constantly; there was no other show I would rather watch. "Impractical Jokers" are on? Great! Any other truTV show is on? Not so great. No offense, Michael Carbonaro.

My boyfriend and I have this thing where we sit and watch the Jokers for hours on end, and we never get bored. It will always be our thing. You guys keep us laughing and smiling.

Each season got funnier and better. The punishments became crueler and longer. The pranks were more ballsy, and still, to this day, some people do not know who the four of you are.

As I write this, I am watching you guys on TV. It's Sunday, and it's a marathon until about two in the morning. When you are on my screen, everything is a little better than it was. Life is good, and I'm content.

Jokers, I hope you know.

I really hope you know the impact you have on a giant audience. You have fans in the U.S. and the U.K. who absolutely adore you. I'm one of those fans. You have the power of comedy in your hands. You make people laugh, and laughter is the best medicine.

Me? I love laughter. It's the best cure for anything, and you guys fit the bill. When I laugh, I'm good. I'm happy.

Whenever I am in the worst mood and I want nothing to do with the world around me, I turn to a lot of things, especially you guys. I can turn on my TV and want to scream into a pillow until my lungs give out, but you guys would stop me from doing so. My frown turns upside down even in the slightest because of your talent to make people feel good, to create laughter.

I could talk about you guys all day, and again, some people would still not know who you are. It doesn't make sense. You've become so well-known and famous in the past few years that I can't even believe that people have a hard time recognizing you. Even though truTV isn't as popular as the other channels on screen, your show is the most popular and most enjoyable on that channel.

Jokers, I hope you know.

I hope you realize that you are one of the reasons why I am getting through college okay. No one will believe me when I say it. Laughter gets me through anything. When I am in a giant rut, I get stressed. But one of my stress relievers is this show. I have had my fair share of rough times throughout college, but guess what? You're there.

I've seen you guys live, and I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life. My boyfriend and I had ourselves a good time because you were absolutely hilarious. I recommend your show to everyone because it's true that I almost fell out of my seat.

Joe, Sal, Q, and Murr, I hope you know that you are the best.

Thank you so much for all you do, and please continue doing what you're doing. You never fail me.

From, a beloved fan.

Alyssa Paluch
Alyssa Paluch Oct 23, 2018
At Rowan University

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50 Crazy Shower And Stoned Thoughts

“In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you’ve left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you.” -Woody Allen
Invader Bethany
Invader Bethany Jun 6, 2017
142714
views

Wether its shower thoughts or ideas we had while we are high, I bet we have all thought of some weird things at one point or another. Here is 50 weird thoughts from the internet and from me.


1. Food Vs Drink

In the english language you can drink a drink but you don't food a food.

- me and apparently quite a few other people on the internet


2. Living Room

Can you die in a living room? Has anyone ever died in a living room? It would be the most ironic death to have. If somebody dies in a living room, is it still a living room?


3. Multi universe Theory

If the multi universe theory is true, is there a universe where it isn't?


4. Fly

If a fly losses its wings is it now a walk?


5. Lightning McQueen

Would Lightning McQueen get care insurance or life insurance?


6. Pinocchio

What would happen if Pinocchio said his nose was going to grow?


7. Rainday

If it rains on a Sunday does that mean that its now Rainday?


8. Bedroom

When you buy a bigger bed you have more bed room but less bedroom.


9. Blind Dreams

Can a blind person see their dreams?


10. Cinderella

If her outfit was supposed to disappear at midnight, why did her shoe not go away too? Also if Cinderella's shoes fit perfectly to her feet, why did one fall off in the first place?


11. Moonwalking

If you moonwalk on the moon, are you just walking?


12. Cookies & Bacon

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


13. Deaf Thoughts

If someone is born deaf, what language do they think in? Do they think in written words and pictures? Do they think in sign language?


14. Seaweed

If you were to smoke weed at sea, does that make it seaweed?


15. OMG

Would Jesus Christ say "oh my God" or "oh my dad"?


16. Race

If you were in a race by your self, would you finish in first or last?


17. Driving

Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?


18. Sweater

If you sweat in a sweater, does that make you the sweater?


19. Mars

When Mars becomes colonized, will anyone born there be considered a Martian?


20. Fetch

What if the dog brings the toy, ball, or stick back to you just because they think you enjoy throwing it and want to make you happy?

- me


21. Tomato

If Tomatoes are really a fruit, is ketchup a jelly/jam?


22. Water

If humans are mostly water, does that mean that Earth is mostly human?


23. I'm Sorry

I'm sorry and I apologize have the exact same meaning unless you are at a funeral.


24. Building

Why is a building called a building if its already built?


25. Apple Houses

If Apple were to make houses, would the houses have Windows?


26. God

Assuming the bible and Christianity is real, God created us but who created God? Did he create himself and if so how? Did somebody else create him and if so, does that mean that there really is more than one God but hes too egotistical to acknowledge this since he wants all attention on himself? And who would of made the God that made God? Did the big bang perhaps make God instead? If the big bang made God, is that a good enough thought / explanation to how the world was created, that would make both scientists and religious people happy and thus bringing upon peace between the two very different ways of thinking?

Also what if God stays in Heaven and doesn't interact with us as much any more because he actually fears what he has created?

- Me and a quite a few other people on the internet


27. Age Old Question

If it was possible to eat all of yourself would you become twice as big or would you disappear?

- Pretty much everyone


28. Dora The Explorer

If Dora is an explorer, why does she only visit mapped areas.


29. Answers

If you replace the w with a t in what, where, when, you have an answer.


30. Hitler

What would of happened if Hitler would of got accepted into the Vienna art school? Would Hitler ever have got into politics at all? Would he still have written mein kampf or became such a powerful leader? Would there still have been Jew hatred and concentration camps? Would Germany have even been in world war 2? Would we be studying Adolf Hitler as a great artist with a charismatic personality instead of a powerful dictator that many will agree is a horrible person?

- Me


31. Holy Shit

If you take a shit at church does that make it a holy shit?


32. Fossils

I the future, will modern humans ever be dug up and displayed at a museum like we did to dinosaur fossils and to the cavemen? Will there ever be a human version of Jurassic Park in which humans have the dino roles and the human roles will be replaced by what ever is the future's newest highest position life form and will this life form think that this jurassic park is something they came up with all their own?

- me


33. Radiation

In Japan, radiation makes giant monsters like Godzilla but in America, radiation creates superheros


34. Is Life Really Unfair?

If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?


35. History

History classes are only going to get longer and more difficult as time goes on.


36. Fire

Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.


37. Time is Money

If time is money, is an ATM a time machine?


A

Time

Machine


38. Lasagna

Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.


39. Argument

If two vegans or vegetarians argue, is it still considered beef?


40. Nine Months

If babies are in the womb for 9 months, why aren't they considered 9 months old when they are born?


41. Packages

Deliveries by ships are cargo and deliveries by car are shipments.


42. Home Work

If a teacher gives a homeless kid homework, is it still considered homework?


43. Actions

They say actions speak louder than words but isn't speaking an action?


44. Speed Run

Would every Sonic play though be considered a speed run?


45. Cheese Cake

Cheese cake is secretly a pie.

- my brother Chris, some of his friends, and me.


46. Clapping

Clapping is repeatedly hitting yourself because you like something.


47. Grammar Nazi

The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar nazi.


48. Dirt

When ever you dig up a rock or some dirt, that could be the first time it has seen the sun in millions of years.


49. Ninjas

What if every country has ninjas and we only know about Japan's ninjas because they are so bad at being ninjas?


50. Poop

Every day, someone on Earth takes the biggest poop in the whole world for that day. That person could even be you!

Cover Image Credit: Teaching High School Psychology
Invader Bethany
Invader Bethany Jun 6, 2017
At Hagerstown, MD

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16 Struggles That Give All Retail Workers Nightmares, Even After They've Worked Their Last Shift

Let's just hope my boss doesn't see this.

simrankaur
simrankaur May 29, 2019
93
views

If you haven't worked in retail, count your blessings. This summer will mark my third official retail job, and let's just say I am less than excited to return to the dreaded retail employee lifestyle. There are so many cons that we have to put up with on the daily, is it even worth the minimum wage salary?

1. Waking up every weekday morning before your shift and contemplating whether the money is worth it

"Is dragging myself out of bed worth my cheque of $500 before taxes?"

2. And if you're lucky enough, being blessed with the task of opening

Two words: kill me.

3. Having to fake a smile for the entirety of your shift.

And if that isn't bad enough, having your amazing customers remind you to "smile" while you're internally just trying not to lose your shit.

4. Being stuck with the lazy coworkers on your shift

I don't have time to do my job and also teach you how to do yours. Next.

5. And the worst one of all, dealing with the most absurd questions from your customers

No, I won't give you something for free because you have been shopping here for years. I can give you a store credit card, though.

6. Even worse? Having to listen to the weirdest stories from your customers

I once had a customer narrate her entire infidelity and divorce story to me, and I awkwardly had to sympathize while just trying to print her papers. At one point she reached over the register and tried hugging me. Not a fun time.

7. Being yelled at during rush times when you're trying your best

Yes, lady, I understand the line is long. But you're going to have to wait on it just like everyone else. I'm not going to roll out a special expedited red carpet for you.

8. Explaining something to a customer and receiving the "Can I talk to your manager?" bit every time

Everything I am telling you was taught to me by my, surprise, manager! But I guess the arguing is worth it when we laugh about the whole thing in the break room later.

9. Constantly having to clean up mysterious messes

Maybe it's because my parents raised me better, but whenever I go shopping I try to refrain from making a mess. Customers I have encountered, however, seem to enjoy messing up everything they come in contact with.

10.  I'm sorry that your coupon is expired

I really am. But I guarantee you, no matter how many times I scan your coupon, it will not work.

11.  Customers assuming that you know every damn thing

I once had a customer ask me if I knew who the CEO of my employer was, and when I said no, he told me I needed to do "my research." Yes, thank you, I'll be researching all right — on how to get the heck out of this place.

12.  Not being informed of how much math goes into the job

All the math I have learned, all the way up to Calculus 2, magically disappears from my mind when I'm at the register and need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. Suddenly I don't know how many nickels go in to a dollar.

13.  When customers try getting in despite the very large "CLOSED" sign and locked doors

I promise you, no matter how many times you yank at the door and yell at me to open it, I'm not. It's kind of entertaining watching you go at it, though.

P.S. We are required to log off all cash registers immediately after the set closing time, so there is no point of even trying to get in. You can't buy anything.

14.  Having to stay over your designated shift

Once I was forced to do a 12-hour shift without being informed of prior because one of my coworkers decided to call out "sick." She also ended up getting fired the following week, but I'mma sip my tea.

15.  Talking crap about your workplace with your favorite coworkers

You'll be surprised as to how quickly people can bond over annoying customers and shitty bathrooms. Having great coworkers honestly makes working a billion times more tolerable.

16.  The time we dream about all day and look forward to impatiently: when your shift is finally over

Once I clock out and my uniform is off, I am also mentally clocked the fuck out. Whatever chaos is happening is not my problem. Good luck to those clocking in, though.

If you work in retail, kudos to you, because honestly we're really forced to deal with the worst shit on a daily basis, there is no escape. And if you haven't worked in retail, perhaps this helps you gain insight on our nightmarish lives — so if you're mean to your cashiers, cut it out.

simrankaur
simrankaur May 29, 2019
At The State University of New York at Stony Brook

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