More recently, I've been reflecting on how I behave in relationships, including familial, platonic, and romantic relationships, and what I can do improve. I know that I have a tendency to beat up on myself when it comes to social interactions and how I acknowledge the people around me. Sometimes I get paranoid that I'm not present enough in my friends' lives; when my mental health is in a particularly vulnerable place, I tend to isolate myself without even noticing that I'm doing it. In some ways, this isolation can shut out distractions and inspire productivity for me --I'm more focused and work-oriented during these periods. The downside, however, is that I fall into a pattern of complacency and lose sight of the healthy bonds and conversations I can be exposed to when I finally open myself up again. In order to avoid this cycle and the pitfalls it creates for my world awareness and relationships, I'm jotting down some steps that I'll take to be more appreciative and active in the lives of those that I love.
1. 1. Using my work breaks as opportunities to check in with friends I don't get to see during the summer.
This summer, my work schedule is pretty full. On average, I generally work 25-35 hours a week, and when I'm not working, I'm usually trying to catch up on sleep or movies and shows I'm passionate about. I'll admit it; I make excuses for myself. Sometimes I tell myself that I simply have no time to make long phone calls or hold full conversations during the day. That's simply not true; I need to prioritize and make time for the people I care about. Even a short phone call or message can remind someone that I'm not completely unreliable or inattentive. I want to start utilizing every work break I have to hear about my Pitt friends' summer vacation plans, or the classes they're taking over the summer. I don't need to spend my thirty-minute lunch breaks on my phone, scrolling mindlessly through social media when there are real, meaningful interactions I can engage in.
2. Getting better at remembering birthdays.
I'm not great with numbers or dates, or really anything that requires memorization. This can be hard sometimes, especially when I imagine myself in a hypothetically dangerous situation where I need to phone a friend, I don't have my cellphone on me, and I'm forced to dial their number based on memory. This will most likely not be something I have to deal with anytime soon, but I still think it's important for me to remember these details about the people in my life. I want to be able to plan further in advance with birthday gifts, something I, like a lot of people, tend to procrastinate. The more time I allow myself to prepare for birthdays, the more I'm able to really focus on my friends and celebrating what they mean to me.
3. Sacrificing extra hours of sleep to make more morning and early-day plans.
My sleep schedule is all over the place, but even with my unpredictable wake-up times, one thing remains consistently true: I'm not a morning person. Even during the school year, I work hard to create a class schedule that doesn't require I wake up any earlier than 10:00 or 11:00 AM to leave for campus. It sounds kind of absurd, but I've found that even if I do wake up at a reasonable, early hour, but body doesn't actually wake up until at least 11:00. As I get older, though, I want to amend my sleeping habits. Yes, sleeping in until noon may be something you can get away with in middle school or early teenage years, but as an adult, you start to feel like you've wasted half of the day already if you wake up on the later side. There are errands to run, things to do around the house, and people to see. That last one is key; I need to stop sacrificing morning plans with friends for old and unproductive sleep habits.
4. Not overextending myself with extracurriculars.
I love a lot of things. Oftentimes, this means getting involved with too many clubs, classes, and social groups at once. Yes, it's healthy to have versatile and widespread interests, but it's also important to value downtime and prioritizing family and friends. There are a lot of family members I don't get the chance to visit with often who I'd like to take more time to reach out to. There are some cousins that I don't communicate with as much as I'd like, and I realize it's a two-sided effort and I need to start carrying my weight more. Instead of devoting all of my time to events and meetings during the year, I want to send messages and make calls to people I miss, and people I've been waiting to build deeper connections with.
