Kicking off my shoes and feeling the beige carpet between my toes, I asked “Can I sit down on your couch?”

My friend’s subtle sarcastic response came from the kitchen in the form of a “no.”

I rolled my eyes in a silent reply and plopped down onto the L shaped couch in the living room. Immediately three things caught my attention. The first was the couch. It was beige as a light colored iced coffee, plump as a new pillow, and covered in a soft circular texture reminiscent of latte art. Then small pink socks on the feet of a keyboard stand poked in. It brought to mind the characteristics of cute and stubby, things I normally associate with corgis and weiner dogs. And lastly, a painting of a purple nebula cat silhouette strolled in. That was just aesthetic with a drawn out pronunciation.

I immediately told my friend what I thought about his apartment. It was really nice.

This conversation is unlike the ones I have when I bring friends over to my abode. The conversations then usually consist of the guest scrunching up their nose and commenting on the strange odor. (The stench belongs to the apartment, not me, just to clarify.) That’s as far as comments usually go.

I have never invited anyone over to my home in my hometown and most likely will continue not to for a while. When an individual is physically present in your home, it allows for them to leave their imprint via your memory or a physical mark. It also gives them an opportunity to observe your character through your interior decor and personal environment. For example, a bedroom wall decked out with a heart-shaped polaroid collage would imply that the owner values their friendships and memories.

I consider myself to be a private person. I prefer only for close friends to be privy to the parts of my sense of self that can’t be conveyed through everyday conversation. But for the sake of this article, I will go into some detail.

The wall beside my bed remains blank. The only closest things to decors are three figurines and a perpetually present stack of books on my desk. I’m not sure what that says about my character. Perhaps that I like reading and that the figurines serve as mementos of sorts. Or simply that I’m not a big fan of decorations.

But whether or not these observations are actually meaningful in the long run, I eventually hope that I will become more open to having guests over.