Last night, I attended one of the most therapeutic concerts of my life. I have more on my plate than I can actually handle, but getting to see Brian Fallon perform was so important to me that I took off work and cleared off my schedule to see him a month before the show. He did not disappoint. Somewhere towards the middle of the set, I began focusing on each individual performer on stage, moving from one to the next trying to get a grasp on what made their playing styles noteworthy. I like to understand how each musician on stage contributes to the sound of the band as a whole, and last night, it was as if the musicians’ souls, pulses and thoughts were all synchronized. In spite of there being six performers on stage, everything from Brian Fallon’s vocals to each symbol crash was united by a common beauty and purpose that held the audience spellbound. It didn’t seem possible or real.

We ought to aim for our lives to sound similarly. If you ever feel unimportant as a college student, look around and see how many people and obligations vie for your time. The stage of our lives are terribly crowded, and trying to get the four or five guitarists to all play in sync with one another and with the drummer seemingly takes a miracle. And the crowd expects a lot of you—they came to see you perform. You got accepted to school because the school thought you could become a productive member of society. The bank gave you a loan to go to school because they thought you could pay it back. Your parents probably have either let you go on your own or continue to take care of you at home while you go to school because they think you’re worth the investment and because they love you. And there’s a good chance you work as well to help pay for school because you consider yourself worth the investment as well. All of these people and many more are out in the audience waiting with a great deal of anticipation for you to step up to the microphone.

You want the music your lives make to be pleasing to the crowd and to yourself. You, like any other musician, do what you do because you love it. You ought to enjoy your life. So one of the most important things you can have in your band are a few good friends. Who else is better at anticipating and complementing your next move? And who else is as likely to care about your successes and failures as you are? We don’t do this thing called life by ourselves—we rely on the band behind us. If your band is nothing more than your obligations—your schoolwork, exams, deadlines, work—then the music won’t sound pleasing. You would cease to be an artist because art is truer to the art of art itself than it is to obligations—or even the crowd.

A friend is someone who shares your burdens. You may write and sing the songs, but you need him or her to play that kick-ass guitar solo. You need someone to spend enjoyable time with, or you’re going to go nuts. And so I find it incredibly inappropriate that the first thing to go when we get too busy for our own good is our relationships. Admit it—spending quality time with a buddy, or even a significant other, gets the boot before any of your priorities. I have not treated my relationships like priorities lately. I have white board at home that I keep a massive to-do list on 24/7, and there are about four coffee or lunch dates with friends I’ve put off for weeks. And I’m burning out. I have been holding a candle burning at both ends for a very long time, and it’s starting to singe my fingers.

The truth of the matter is that my friends are in the same boat as I am. They’re working or in school, busting their butts, trying to grow up, please the crowd, and have fun doing it. We owe it to one another to drink either a preverbal or literal beer together pretty regularly. Quality time with quality people is time you can’t afford to cut out. The two of you need to trade a few guitar solos if either of you are going to be good performers. Remember, they came to see you and the band. One of the greatest things a person can accomplish is a good friendship. So don’t let your essays play all the guitar solos, and don’t do it all on your own. Make some good music.