Having An Imperfect Relationship With Your Parents

Come To Terms With Having An Imperfect Relationship With Your Parents And Accept Them As They Are

We expect our parents to eventually change and accept us for who we are, to see our sides, and to not take us for granted. But when this doesn't happen, we get incredibly furious.
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Despite coming from an Asian household, my relationship with my parents is not always governed by the classic "respect your elders" and "honor the family" values. Don't get me wrong though, I do hold true to these sayings, but with a grain of salt.

For those of us who do not have the good fortune of having healthy, happy relationships with our parents, there comes a moment of enlightenment when we realize that we will never have those kinds of relationships with our parents. That is absolutely OK.

In my case, this happened in the first semester of my first year of college. I was living away from home and was surprised by the unusually loving behavior of my mom and dad. However, once I started commuting from home the next semester, the loving gestures like texting me to ask me how my day or wanting to have a chat with me just because, ended and I felt like I was back to square one with my parents. I had hoped that the distance would make my parents be more expressive and open with me (which it did) but that was gone in an instant I was back home. I had the same old arguments with my parents and felt like a high school student all over again.

We expect our parents to eventually change and accept us for who we are, to see our sides, and to not take us for granted. But when this doesn't happen, we get incredibly furious. Then we feel incredibly guilty for being such bad children who just can't listen to their parents. This guilt forces us to deal with so much emotional abuse, manipulation, and stress until we realize that our parents are people. We are allowed to not get along with them.

Once I realized that I will neither be able to fully satisfy my parents nor will they treat me fairly, I was able to accept them for who they were. By not holding them up to expectations they couldn't meet, my parents became more human and their flaws were those of people, rather than of my parents. All of my hurt feelings subsided as everything became less personal.

Relationships between our parents dictate our choices, our treatment of others, and our treatment of ourselves. It's important to know that you are not at fault for not loving your parents to the moon and back and that you should not feel guilty for something you cannot control. Parents are not black or white, they are gray in that they give us life and we owe them respect and acknowledgment, but that doesn't guarantee love and harmony.

It is OK to be a "bad" child if that means doing what is best for you.

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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I Am Who I Am Today Because Of These People, And I Can't Thank Them Enough For Everything

Thank you.

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This is to all the people in my life that have helped me become the person I am today. You deserve more than just a "Thank you" from me, but I want to let you all know that I appreciate every single one of you.

To my parents,

I can't thank you guys enough for teaching me so much about life. Throughout my life, you've guided me through most things that I haven't even discovered on my own yet. You have taught me that I need help with money even though I continue to spoil myself. You have taught me to continue to believe in myself regardless of how difficult it can be at times. Thank you for everything that you have always done for me.

To my sisters,

You may constantly make fun of me for everything that I do — I do deserve it most of the times — you mean the world to me. You have taught me and showed me to be kind to everyone. Isn't that ironic? All jokes aside, you are the best sister I could ever ask for!

To my best friend,

The one who knows absolutely everything about me. The one who I FaceTime every single day. The one who has proven to me that I belong on this planet. The one who has helped me realize that I can do an endless amount of things with my life. Thank you for all the continuous support that you give me. You truly are the most thoughtful and encouraging best friend.

To my ex-best friend,

Even though you aren't really in my life anymore, I can't thank you enough for all the lessons I learned from you about myself. You encouraged me through tough times, reassuring me that I can do anything. You showed me that I have such a big heart. You taught me that I can dream with my eyes wide open. You taught me that I have such a gift — and I need to share it. Thank you for a solid friendship even if it was just for a little while.

To my coworkers,

You are the only reason why I'm still working. Our work environment is so amazing because of you. I look forward to coming to work because you have become my other family. Thank you for allowing me to have fun and be myself while at work.

To my roommates,

I know you have to deal with me constantly getting new pets or doing something stupid. I am shocked but thankful (of course) that put up with me. You are always so supportive of everything that I do. I could never thank you guys enough for all that you do. I hope you never get too tired of me!

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