“Hey, you. Yea you, I know we just met but I kind of want to make out with your face so freakin' hard right now. You probably have a wonderful personality but the way I see it, I’ll probably never see you again so why don’t we just walk around this building and start going at it?”

If only I had the guts to say that. I have a hard enough time talking to people I somewhat care for, let alone be vulnerable enough to show some sexuality towards a guy. For someone who’s as horny as I am, you would think that I could just ask him to hang out next Saturday. But instead, I’ll probably be sitting on the couch in my parents' room listening to Michael Bublé and writing about what “Ideal Vicki,” could be like... again.

Do you ever feel like if it wasn’t for that extremely small voice in your head that holds you back from telling him "hello" you would be the hottest piece of ass around? Not to toot my own horn but I know that I’m awesome. It took me many years to accept myself for who I truly am: a tall, fat, long-haired, lovable, hilarious, horny, man-loving girl who just wants someone else to feel that way about her too. A girl that isn’t afraid of getting her heart broken if it means she will eventually meet someone decent. I guess I’m getting tired is all. I want to be the girl who can say whatever she wants to a guy with confidence, and not be afraid of the outcome. So to all the guys I’ve ever wanted to hook up with in the past (which is a lot) and to the guy I’m looking down at from my window right now with that amazing beard, feel free to make the first move until I can grow a pair and do it myself.