Granted, I don't have that much experience dating largely because of my issue with the general lack of commitment, I still think that I can speak to this a little bit.

I am definitely not the person who is in their mid-twenties reeling after years of casual relationships resulting in nothing permanent but my struggle is a little different.

It can be really hard to date in a climate where things that you are not comfortable with are so normalized. And this isn't because I inherently despise casual relationships, I just know that I cannot handle them.

And to be honest, I don't think a lot of people can handle the casualty as well as they at as they can. I do believe that some people can have casual sex and relationships without having the issues that a person like me would face.

I honestly just care about people a lot. And I am very much a relationship person. For me, as someone who eventually wants to be committed to someone, I don't see much value in wasting my own time.

Because I know that if I pursue things that I know that I can't handle, best case scenario, I am the only one who gets hurt. And on the flip-side, there is a very real chance that I could be the one to hurt other people who care as I care.

And I never want to be that person. I can't explain my disdain for casual relationships as anything other than "icky". Yes, I know that's a very childish way to describe something like this.

But that is how I felt when I tried the casual thing. Like I get the appeal, you have drinks and a couple of hours of good conversation, and then the night usually ends in a hookup.

Which for some people who don't need romantic intimacy or people who don't want the commitment of a relationship, this setup is probably a dream. But for someone who is the epitome of a hopeless romantic, walking into these situations is a nightmare every time.

A lot of people also assume that if you don't like casual relationships then you must just not like sex. And that honestly couldn't be further from the truth.

But I just don't think that a night of mediocre sex is worth all of the feelings that come along with it for me. Another thing that is somewhat of a misconception, at least for me, is that if you sleep with someone you automatically catch feels.

And while that can be the case sometimes, that has definitely not been my experience. For me, it was like an "eh I really don't like you that much after all so why am I putting time and effort into something that I know has no future".

At the end of the day, I'm a future-forward person and I'm tired of apologizing for that. That's not to say that I'm trying to get hitched or find my soul mate immediately but I need more than lukewarm commitment.

I'm not a lukewarm person and I'm tired of pretending that I'm comfortable with things when I so clearly am not.