I'm Grateful I Wasn't Famous as a Teenager

I'm Grateful I Wasn't Famous as a Teenager

I avoided being a child star train wreck.
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Since I can remember, I've always had aspirations to be famous. From performing shows in my living room, singing along to the radio and to the Land Before Time series, playing dress up, copying choreography I saw on television. I had performing in my soul long before I was aware of what I was doing.

I was convinced in my wishful young mind I was going to be an award winning star before I was 18. But life handed me many heavy blows before I was 18. I was sexually abused during my childhood and it wasn't until I was 15 when I started dealing with the aftermath. Anxious, traumatized, depressed, Hollywood was still on my mind, but I felt so vulnerable that my dreams of stardom were put on the back burner.

My anxiety got so increasingly bad that it seemed every little thing would set me off: somebody being rude to me, somebody cancelling on me, everything would either have me in tears or holding onto it forever. I didn't leave the house, staying safe in my room. The Industry requires thick skin, thick skin I had yet to gain. I was ultra sensitive, fragile.

I was painfully insecure: I had braces, glasses, bangs, acne, and my body slowly started developing its womanly curves. I always thought I was ugly, cursing out my reflection, always thinking I was fat, obsessing over wearing makeup outside of the house. I was awkward and just couldn't get comfortable in my body. Hollywood is obsessed with appearances and pictures will always be taken of you, whether you want it or not. Magazines photoshopping gorgeous women, then criticizing them for gaining weight, the mean comments on YouTube and social media calling them ugly and wishing they would die. Now that I'm older and more secure and comfortable with myself, I believe I can tune out most of the negativity. As an insecure teenager, the bullying and criticism would've eventually gotten to me and I hate to think what would've happened to the impressionable me.

If I had been famous then, I most likely would've ended up an out of control child star: partying with celebrities I admired, having public meltdowns, letting my anxieties cancel appearances, my insecurity leading to me compromising my image. I probably would've walked out during concerts (Axl Rose style), go on unapologetic, scandalous rants on Twitter. It's safe to say God was doing me a favor not making me a celebrity that young.

At my 16th birthday party, I was incredibly anxious, sensitive to every little thing. From people leaving early, people being rude, people not showing up, my sweet 16 was such a big deal to a dramatic teenager. I was singing at the party, and ended up kicking two people out of the party for being rude and trying to upstage me during my performance (drama queen, I know). I ended up pulling an Axl Rose and dropping the mic, storming off in tears. My friends comforted me and told me to sing again, don't worry about stupid boys being mean. After that pep talk, back up I went, singing through my glittery tears. Looking back, if I had been a celebrity at this point, the meltdowns like this would've occurred more often, way more publicly. I'm grateful now that this was my worst on-stage moment, hopefully it remains my worst (knock on wood).

I'm now 24, on medication to help my anxiety, comfortable with myself and my past, and have a much clearer mind. I still dream of being famous, and I'm worker harder than I ever have to make that happen. I want to be a bestselling writer, actor, rock pop singer/songwriter, and advocate for mental health awareness and bring awareness to sexual violence and domestic violence. Maybe all the turmoil I went through was to prepare me for the limelight, and if that's the case, then it was all worth it.


Cover Image Credit: Lindsey Daggett

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18 Times Kate Middleton Was Actually All Of Us In College, Beside The Princess Thing

Every girl has to go through her clueless college stage before she reaches Duchess status.
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Kate Middleton is basically a household name by now, and how could this not be the case when she has the gorgeous hair, kind smile, and incredible fashion sense. With her constantly in the spotlight looking so put together, we sometimes forget that the Duchess was actually all of us in college!

Here are 18 times that Kate proved she was just like all of us.

1. Going all out in the name of school spirit

There is nothing like breaking out the war paint and screaming for your home team. Like Kate, we all love to get a little messy and make some memories with our friends.

2. Hanging out with the roomies

Some people may not get lucky in this area but for those who are best friends with their roommates, they understand the love. It's a dream come true for everyone who has always wanted to live with their best friends. It's like a sleepover that never ends.

3. Dressing up cute on the first day of school...

You got to make a good first impression on your way to school. Whether it's during your 7 A.M or 4 P.M., it's always best to dress to impress.

4. ...and wearing yoga pants for the rest of the year

And this goes all the way until the last week of school when you don't bother getting out of bed to wear pants at all.

5. Going grocery shopping and throwing in cookies, ice-cream, and every type of Pringles because your mom isn't there to say no

You'll probably regret that in a few months when the Freshman Fifteen kicks in.

6. Walking for miles from your car to your dorm carrying groceries

We can't park by the apartment for a solid five minutes to carry our groceries up to the kitchen or we will risk a ticket, but we can walk a few miles carrying food that gets heavier, and heavier, and heavier with every step.

7. Going out for a night on the town on a Friday night

Dancing, laughter, and fun? Everyone in college has been to a party or two. It's a classic part of the college experience. Sometimes you just need a distraction from all the essays and tests.

8. Being so late to class you threw on whatever your hands grabbed next

We've all been there. Our alarm doesn't go off, we press snooze a few too many times, or forget to even set an alarm and next thing you know we are running around the dorm room like Taz from Looney Toons. You throw on whatever, then run to class.

Unfortunately 9/10 times our outfits don't turn out. Although, Kate can certainly pull off this look, no matter how mismatched.

9. Pretending your walking to the same building as the cute boy you met so you have the excuse to keep talking to him

I am very guilty of doing this. Although I missed my class, at least I got to talk to the really cute boy who has class at 9:45 in the STEM building. It was worth it.

10. Sitting on the floor or standing because you're a poor college student who can't afford chairs or tables

Eating on the floor? Always. Being a college kid is tough and sometimes you have to sacrifice some things to obtain the others. Such as choosing chocolate milk and Halo Top over vegetables and hair conditioner.

Judging by Kate's beautiful locks, she chose the conditioner.

Probably the vegetables too.

We should just all follow her example.

11. Going on cute date with the boy you followed to class-turned-boyfriend

Now my short-lived romance may not have extended farther than us talking and walking to his class, but Kate and William obviously had a better ending. Nevertheless, college is the place to grow and date and possibly find the one.

12. Keeping your hair long and growing because you can't afford to get it cut

Don't trust your roommate. No matter how many times she begs you to let her cut it. Don't.

13. Turning 21 and getting dressed up and going out with your best friends

While this one probably doesn't apply to Kate, since you can drink at age 18 in most countries, all my people in the United States know the sweet freedom of turning 21. It's an iconic time in a students life and marks a huge milestone as well.

14. Passing out flyers for some type of movement or protest

Everyone wants to be a part of something bigger - which is why college is the time to stand up for what you believe in. May that be RedforEd, Planned Parenthood, anti-Abortion, Trump, the Wall, pizza bagels, it's all an exercise of the first amendment.

15. Ranting to your friends about the professor that just "doesn't understand you"

You know your thinking about that professor right now as you read this. And you know that that's your reaction whenever they give you a bad grade or say something you disagree with at the tiniest degree.

16. Getting glammed-up for those senior photos

Pick out your best outfit and make sure it's a good hair day because everyone will be viewing these photos forever... and in Kate's place that is more than true. Luckily she looks as gorgeous as ever. Does she ever have a bad hair day?

17. Walking out of your last class knowing you'll never have to write a single paper again

And purposefully not thinking about how you will be going into the real world in less than a few days.

18. When you've graduated and realized you have no idea what you're going to do with your life

Maybe a prince will be right around the corner to sweep you off your feet so you won't have to figure your life out.
Cover Image Credit: Laura Warshauer

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20 Amazing Songs You Need For Your Travel Music Videos

Planning to make your new travel video? Use one of these songs as your perfect background music!

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Based on the mood you're currently feeling, here are 20 different songs categorized by when you should use them for a traveling music video:


1. For Those Classic Summer Feels

"Harvest Moon" by Poolside

"Gone" by JR JR

"Hold My Hand" by Jess Glynne

"Summer" by Calvin Harris

For all the lake adventures and mission trips, these are the perfect songs to put behind them to share your experience. Using these songs, your video can have a perfect summer vibe to it!

2. For A Good Winter Vacation

"The Days" by Avicii

"Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers

"Roses" by The Chainsmokers

"It Ain't Me" by Kygo ft. Selena Gomez

It's hard finding a perfect song for a cold winter day. These songs can work amazingly to any snowy adventurous video you've made for your winter break.

3. For Everyday Adventures

"Shut Up and Dance" by WALK THE MOON

"To Let Myself Go" by The Avener

"All That Matters" by Justin Bieber

"Youth" by Troye Sivan

We all have our daily vlogs filled with school and friends. These songs can put a touch of amusement and thrill to these videos!

4. For The Perfect Spring Break At The Beach

"Steal My Girl" by One Direction

"The Nights" by Avicii

"Runaways" by Galantis

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Every girl has the perfect week at the beach once a year! These songs can show off how incredible your experience with your friends was.

5. For Those City Nights

"Bullet Train" by Stephen Swartz

"Love You Like A Love Song" by Selena Gomez

"G.O.M.D." by J. Cole

"The Heart Wants What It Wants" by Selena Gomez

We all take visits to the city and never have the right songs to make a video with. These upbeat songs will make your city vlog into a perfect travel video!

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