I have a situation...

So I went to Victoria's Secret the other day for a sale and had a slight mid-life crisis. I’m only 21 but I suddenly felt 45 and had thoughts like those of a protective mother. Girls (yes, girls, not women) were storming around with this look in their eye like they probably would kill me if they didn't get the pair of panties they just had to have. I have never felt so out of place in Victoria's Secret...I thought this was a store for adults? I don't know, but I just had so many judgmental thoughts that I'm not ashamed to share...

You’re literally 13 years old.

The amount of makeup your baby face has on looks like you're trying to look 25.

Why are you even shopping in here?

You don’t need lacy, cheeky or barely there underwear. Who is even seeing them?

The answer should be no one–you're a child.

Except for your mom who does your weekly laundry.

Seriously, shouldn’t you still be buying the packs of briefs or bikinis from Kohl's or something?

Okay whatever, so you’re infesting this adult store with your weird adolescence...I’ll try and ignore it.

Except I can’t ignore it when your phone is extended in your arm taking a selfie across the aisle.

With your new panties proudly displayed now in your SnapChat story.

Classy.

Why are you selfie-ing when there’s a mob of people trying to get cheap underwear anyway? You’re wasting precious time. Move.

Also, what’s with your attitude? Don’t death glare me and shove past me.

I am your elder, respect me.

All the other adults politely move around each other as we look for our sizes, can’t you do the same?

Oh wait, you can't because you’re not an adult.

Also, does your father even know you’re in here?

I guess so, since I just heard your 13-year-old spoiled brat mouth say the words, “Well, my dad’s just paying for them so I don’t even care."

I can’t decide if I find it weird that your dad is paying for lacy underwear you shouldn’t even know exists.

Yep, it's weird. I’m concerned.

Also, is it better or worse that girls' mothers are in here pushing other girls out of the way so their daughter can get that hot pink pair?

Yep, definitely worse.

Can you please separate from your five friends for a second?

Grab your pair and move out of the way, this doesn’t need to be a group selection process

This is not a “phone a friend” moment. Make your own decision.

And does your also too-young-to-be-here boyfriend need to be right behind you blocking a whole drawer from the rest of us?

Make him useful and have him stand in line or something...I don’t know, he's just in the way.

I’m assuming he won’t be wearing them anyway.

But I guess if that’s what you’re into…? You do you.

But maybe not since you’re still only 13.

Please go make some friendship bracelets or something to revamp your innocence.

So, maybe I sound like a grumpy old lady, but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that it's okay for such young girls to be in this store. I’m pretty sure when I was 13, I wasn’t even aware of Victoria's Secret. Maybe only because I saw the billboards in the mall or in magazines? But then again, when I was 13, I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, didn’t have a smart phone, or any of these social media accounts. I was self-conscious about my newfound womanly features happening and needed something a little more than a training bra. But I definitely didn’t walk into Vickie's to find the hottest push up out there. Times have changed, I get it. But I think adulthood is scary enough when you finally get there. Try and hold on to that innocence as long as possible. Parents, I know it's fun to be the “cool mom” but maybe let your child go through the stages of awkward teenage years so they can finally appreciate being an adult and purchasing their own cute underwear with money they’ve earned. Then again, what do I know? I’m just a 21 year old with a 50 year old brain apparently.

Alright, I'm out.