If You're Going To Swear, Swear Well

If You're Going To Swear, Swear Well

Things to think about before you drop the next one.

People today throw around the f-bomb like candy in a parade. Picture your least favorite kind of sweet treat. Now throw it at someone. This is what swearing is, throwing disgusting words at other people. Now this isn’t to say that I haven’t wanted to do this before, because trust me, no matter who you are, a few choice words cross your mind when someone cuts you off while you`re driving and almost makes you swerve into the curb or car next to you. In today's society it's almost encouraged, and if you don't use them every now and again, you`re the oddball.

This isn’t to say that anyone who uses them is a terrible human being, because they aren’t. This isn’t to say that swearing is something we need to completely cut out of our lives, although it wouldn’t hurt. Why people think it is okay to go around using them in every situation they are in is mind-boggling. People will ask me to say b**** or s*** or a multitude of other cute little curse words and each time my response is a no with a tight smile and shake of the head. This is followed by a "please, just once" and then laughed off by yours truly as I move on to other conversation.

In all honesty, it kind of makes other people doubt your intelligence. Your vocabulary is constantly expanding. You're incorporating new terms and phrases to use later on. When someone swears every other word in a sentence, it makes me wonder why they don’t substitute more descriptive words. It's baffling to me. It's hard not to question a person's intelligence when they say the same six words over and over. I just think there are so many other ways to voice your disgust. Some people say it adds character, but how much character can one actually gain from about six words?

I do not swear. I think that curse words are ugly sounding and are overused by people to make themselves sound like they’re “so cool”. Some people say that they are empowering. Sure, they can make someone feel big and bad at first, but as soon as a woman starts swearing too much they are considered to have a bad mouth. I don`t think it`s fair to call women out on their word choices and let men say what they please. No matter the gender, no matter who`s mouth it comes out of, a swear word is a swear word. I will admit at times I want to just let loose and throw out all the fun collections of these words I have in my mind, but I don`t. Some people think that it`s bad for your mental and emotional health, but it`s better than emotionally and mentally harming someone else.

I don’t understand why it’s necessary to be talking about an adorable puppy and call it “f****** cute” or say that you’re “so f****** annoyed right now”. Well, you know what? So am I. I’m really annoyed by the fact that you had to insert an extra, completely unnecessary word into that sentence, just because you think it makes your situation sound so much worse. I’m annoyed because you’re using the term in a situation where it really isn’t necessary. You want to go f*** the cute dog? Is that what you want? No. Well, at least I hope you don`t.

If I were to go out today and drop a couple of these lovely phrases, everyone would look at me like the world was ending, and that’s the kind of impact they should have. They should make people stop dead in their tracks, make their jaw drop, and have them a little worried about what’s coming next. They should make a person reconsider what they’re doing and decide if it’s worth it. They should call attention to a specific situation that is worth that “wait, what??” and not an everyday, run of the mill conversation. Use them sparingly and make sure that if and when you do, they mean something. Make sure they make a difference rather than fill the spaces between your thoughts.

Cover Image Credit: Bailey Rann

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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