The first day of Black History Month, and Beyoncé wants to snatch us bald. Beyoncé has mastered the art of keeping her life private until she is ready to reveal her business on her own terms. That's a skill that some haven't quite mastered yet, but with Beyoncé's guidance, I'm sure everyone will be in formation. As I patiently await my invitation to her baby shower, I figured I'd get a head start on planning her special day.
1. Lemonade
Bottomless lemonade. Don't even think about asking for anything else to drink, because Beyoncé has managed to fool us not once, but twice. She really had us sitting up here getting mad at our man, or nonexistent man, just to go out and get pregnant with twins less than a year later. We were so quick to wild out after "Sorry" that we overlooked that the key was to make it through the album to "All Night."
2. Strict Dress Code
The dress code will be enforced, so don't act up. You are required to wear Timberlands. It doesn't matter if it's 90 degrees at this baby shower. I expect the upmost level of respect for Mr. Carter's wishes.
3. Baby Shower Favors
4. Invite Only
We will have the best of the best in attendance, ranging from Solange to the Obamas to me, of course. Don't worry though, for those who can't make it or see that their invite got lost in the mail, there will be an HBO special for the big day. They already gave us the "Green Light."
To think that it was nearly a decade ago that Beyoncé told us, "If you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it." And five years since we were blessed with Blue Ivy's birth. Beyoncé had to one up herself, and go out and have twins. So sis, I know your pregnancy is probably mad stressful, just hit my line, and we'll put this plan into action for your baby shower.
