If EIU Bars Were People
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If EIU Bars Were People

Marty, Stu, and the rest of the gang

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If EIU Bars Were People
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Every EIU student knows the Charleston bars like the back of their hand, and each bar is different in it's own way. But what if the EIU bars were people? Well, here's what they'd be like.

Ike's: The Frat Guy

Ike's would be the frat guy, who doesn't drink at all or gets completely f*cked up -- there's no in-between. He hits on girls relentlessly, is failing most of his classes, and visits at least three bars a night. That's Ike's.


Marty's: The Athlete

Marty's would be the athlete who day drinks as much as he drinks at night. He's always down to party, despite being the 'old man' in his friend group. Definitely has a dad bod.


Stu's : The Weekend Warrior

Stu's would stay sober all week in preparation for the weekend, leading him to be a lowkey good student. Also secretly has mad dance moves. Stu's loves house music and likes to buy shots for the whole bar.


Styx (The Panther Paw): The Nerd

Styx is the 'fun fact' nerd who always tells the best stories. He's independent and is a self-proclaimed "casual drinker." Loved by all due to his frequent offers to DD for everyone.


Lefty's (Holler): The Townie

Lefty's would be the townie who prefers to drink while the sun is still up. Cries every time he's wasted and doesn't rally for at least 48 hours after drinking heavily. Can typically be found wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.


Which bar are you?



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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