If you know me at all, you've probably realized that I almost always carry a cup of coffee and a smile on my face wherever I go. No, this is not an article about why coffee makes my insides flutter with joy. It is not about my love for tea, even though I sip a cup of it every night before bed. It is about the college experience.
So what's with the title, you ask?
I am so tired of people trying to dictate others college experiences. Hear me out because right now you probably think you know where this is going. "This chick is going to take one side or the other. I knew it. Next article"
That's where you are wrong.
What you choose to do to fill your time is none of my business. It is yours, and yours alone. I am not drained because of the people who choose to get wasted on weekends or the late night scholars who cuddle with Netflix in bed after studying for hours on end.
I am tired of the freaking attitude people have.
I've overheard too many people say things like:
"Oh, you go out on the weekend. You must not care about your studies."
"You don't go out? What's wrong with you?"
"Do you have a social life?"
"Come on. You should go out. You don't have to drink."
"How much do you even drink? You're practically an alcoholic"
"How many people are you planning on sleeping with this weekend?"
I don't know why people find it so utterly necessary to rub their noses in other people's business. At the end of the day, each individual makes hundreds if not thousands of decisions. Whether the choices you decide to make lead to desirable or undesirable outcomes, they are YOURS.
I don't have a problem with my friends who like to go to parties and have a good time nor do I feel the need to scoff at my peers who would rather binge watch friends or do their nails.
What I do have a problem with, is this.
Imagine you are at a cafe with a friend. You walk up to the barista and look at all the choices. You could get hot or iced coffee. You could also choose from the selection of tea and large array of frozen drinks. You might decide to get a sweet, flaky pastry. Or, you may choose to save your money and not get anything at all. Today, you end up getting a cup of dark roast hot coffee with a splash of cream and a dash of sugar.
You have all of these choices, and find that while you like coffee, you also enjoy a good hot cup of tea. You like different things and that's okay, right? Of course it is. Just because you might choose to get an iced latte today, doesn't mean you won't consider ordering an earl grey tea tomorrow.
Now with your coffee in hand, your friend goes up to place their order. After careful consideration, they decide to get a buttery croissant and a chai tea. You realize you hate chai anything but are happy with your coffee and know your friend will enjoy their drink as well.
After paying the barista, you and your friend go and sit down. Despite the differences in your beverages, you still talk, laugh and have fun together.
See the problem?
I've never heard somebody make rude remarks or pass judgements in a cafe despite differences between one's preferred beverage.
In college, there are common misconceptions that students either party all night long or stay in and "don't know how to have fun."
I compare walking into a cafe to one's college experience because of this.
In college, each student has the possibility to choose things based on what they like and that which they are passionate about. Just because one student goes out and has a few drinks one night, it doesn't mean that they don't also spend time devoted to their homework.
Some people enjoy going out at night.
Some people love staying in.
Some people partake in both.
Some people do neither.
A lot of people judge other people based on the decisions they choose to make.
Some people sip coffee.
Some people devour tea.
Some people love both.
Some people like neither.
You might think that comparing someone's college decisions to their coffee or tea order isn't valid.
Actually, I think it makes perfect sense.
Getting mad at somebody because they like to party and you enjoy staying in is like becoming upset because you like coffee and your best friend doesn't.
Why should one person's likes and dislikes affect yours? Does your friend hating coffee impact your ability to love it? Absolutely not. So why should one person's decisions impact your ability to support them as an individual? You don't have to like the same things in order to be able to embrace them. I don't understand why that's so hard for some people to comprehend. So who cares if you like coffee and your best friend loves iced tea? What difference does it make if you stay in your room with a few close friends while your other friends go to the bar?
What matters is this.
In college as well as in life, we all are surrounded with external stimuli and are constantly bombarded with choices, decisions and options.
Do what make YOU feel good. If that means going out and enjoying a drink with friends or spending time skyping a relative, so be it.
Your likes and dislikes are your own and nobody else has the right to let you feel as if your choices should dictate one thing or another, especially the way in which you feel about yourself.
So enjoy the party scene and/or go bowling, see a movie, work on a project or spend time with friends.
Do what makes you happy and I'll do what makes me happy. What one person finds enjoyable might make somebody else feel very uncomfortable. We are all different and wonderful in our own way and need to realize that the choices we make as individuals may not necessarily coincide with that of our friends It's okay. Liking and disliking different things is part of what makes each of us so special. Despite our differences, it is imperative that we recognize this; we can still support individuals for who they are as individuals regardless of the activities they partake in, how many pumps they get in their latte or which movies they watch.
So when all is said and done I may not like the same social activities or caffeinated beverages as you do.
No matter what though, I can promise you this.
I will forever and always support you as an individual and just hope you're able to do the same for me and every other beautiful soul you encounter in your life.
