Accounting - "No, I can't do your taxes for you."

Finance - "Accounting was too hard."

Chemistry - The one major where alcohol really is a solution.

Marine Bio - "I thought I'd get to work with dolphins but here I am staring at bacteria and mold."

Physics - "Everything you learned last week was wrong."

English - So, you want to teach?

Political Science - "Your opinion is wrong."

Graphic Design - "No, we aren't artists. There's a difference."

Aerospace Engineering - Okay but no it actually is rocket science.

Structural engineering - "We exist because architects don't know what physics is."

Communications - "We're not really sure what that means either..."

Linguistics - "Studied 23 languages, only fluent in one."

Journalism - "We'll teach you how to structure the perfect argument that no one wants to hear."

Anthropology - "No, we aren't the ones that dig up dinosaurs."

Archaeology - "No, we aren't the ones that dig up dinosaurs."

Paleontology - "No, digging up dinosaurs is not the only thing that we do."

Microbiology - You'll never be comfortable in a public setting ever again.

Forestry - Flannel-lined science.

Chemical Engineering - "Oh, good. I've always wanted to fail an open book, open notes test."

IT - If you love technology, you're gonna hate the people that use it.

Nursing - "Where every answer is right, but you're still wrong."

Psychology - You will accidentally psycho-analyze everyone on the deepest level possible in a basic 2-minute conversation.

Business Management - When you have no idea what you want to do in life but you want a degree that's useful in any field.

Computer Science - "I forgot a semicolon and my computer exploded."

Philosophy - "I think therefore I am unemployable."