I was recently asked to do an exercise where I completed statements about myself. I was asked to answer them quickly and honestly, not really taking too much time to ponder my answers. I did a couple different exercises, each with a different topic. One of the topics was identity and self-acceptance, and my answers shocked me.

When I sat down and looked at my answers, I couldn’t believe how corrupted and false my view of myself had become. Seriously, it was so evident that the “truths” I’d been allowing myself to believe weren’t really truths at all- they were lies from the Enemy.

Y’all, I was having a serious identity crisis.

I’d heard a million times all the different ways God sees me: chosen, redeemed, loved, forgiven, made clean, born again, etc. I’ve sat across from my girls hundreds of times and even told them this. I know these things to be true, I know that what the Bible says is true, and I know that giving my life to Christ means that I am born again and no longer have to carry the weight of my past. But deep down, like, waaaaaayyyy deep down in my core, I wasn’t applying these truths to my life.

Words and phrases like “chosen” and “new creation” sound better and look better when they’re painted on pretty water color flowers in a fancy calligraphy font. I have nothing against those, I have a few art pieces hanging up in my room. But I’ve been hanging these words on my wall and not hiding the truths behind them in my heart. I began to dig deeper into why I was doing this, and the conclusion I came to revealed a lack of trust in God and a misplaced trust in myself.

As nice as all those words and phrases sounded, I never believed that they could apply to me. They were nice for people in the Bible and even for people around me, but I was too much of a mess to be “chosen” by someone. And could I really be made a “new creation”? My past and my struggles had cut me to the core and all I could see were the scars.

I was wallowing as a victim of my struggle instead of walking as a victor with my Savior.

In doing this, I had allowed my past to define me in such a way that it became my identity.

And I feel like I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

When we fail to see ourselves how God sees us and continue wallowing in our struggles, we miss the joy of walking in truth and grace. But to begin walking like this, we need to stop believing that we can do it on our own. We need to stop believing that biblical truths don’t apply to us. We need to stop believing that we’re beyond repair.

I’ve begun praying Psalm 86:11 when I start to feel myself believing lies. This verse says “Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.” Learning the ways of the Lord comes through spending time with Him, digging into His word, going to Him in prayer, and worshiping Him. We need to dig into truths about who God says we are to combat the lies about who Satan thinks we are.

Lysa TerKeurst once said, “The truth of my identity as a child of God empowers me to believe that living in victory tastes sweeter than any unhealthy delicacy.”

I pray that you can start walking in victory.

You’re chosen, redeemed, made clean, and born again. And it’s time for you start believing it.