"If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won." ― Lalah Delia
Narcissism. It's a big buzz word right now not only in the area of psychology but across our culture, but how does one efficiently spot someone who may exhibit narcissistic traits?
To start a narcissist is "a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves." In a relationship setting, they usually want to make themselves seem superior to you, are insulting and demeaning, do not reciprocate attention, and demand constant admiration.
The following are sixteen ways to spot a narcissist.
1. They're likable and charming up on first meeting
Now you might say or be thinking "well isn't everyone?" and that is true but a narcissist has even more of a reason to do so.
2. They like to tell stories
And I mean a lot of stories, many of which don't make any sense to you or anyone around you. They even use these stories to sometimes make themselves look better. And often times play the hero or victim, rather than the offender.
3. The way they speak to you (or others)
It's pretty easy to figure out who someone is through their use of language and can be positive (seductive), negative (disparaging), display a lack of empathy or care, and even have traces of seeming like a victim.
4. They have an inflated sense of self- importance
And usually try to make others around them seem like they are less so, in comparison.
5. They feel entitled
They feel like the world owes them something and that everything should be handed to them.
6. They're materialistic
Not that this is necessarily a bad thing (per-say), but the narcissist will take it to the next level and beyond. They need THINgs to feel good about themselves.
7. The conversations somehow always goes back on them
Whether you've just had the best moment of your life or the worst, they will somehow manage to tie it back to them. Their favorite subject is themselves, and the more you get to know them, the more obvious it becomes.
8. They need constant validation (and they need people to give it to them)
Maybe not so much at first, as a compliment here and there is enough to suffice. Eventually, not even your words will be enough. They need to know what other people think as highly about them as they do.
This can be quite annoying at times, especially when you have to watch out for their feelings when they have no regard for yours.
9. They have a certain lack for empathy
They just really don't care about much other than themselves.
10. They like to control everyone around them
A narcissist has a VERY specific idea about how exactly everyone around them is supposed to respond and act so when that perceived idea doesn't happen, they become upset.
11. They sometimes violate personal boundaries
They can show blatant disregard for personal space, borrow things without returning them and use others without a sense of consideration.
12. They have, what would be thought of as, a grandiose personality
They often times think that they are the hero (or heroine) in the story and believe that others lives are better because they're in it.
13. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a term used to describe when someone (usually a narcissist) manipulates another by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
14. They have an excuse for literally EVERYTHING
And I mean everything. Sometimes, their excuse could be, "Well that's just the way I am, and if you were my friend, you would understand that."
15. They are master manipulators
So much so that it takes a while for someone to even realize that they are being manipulated.
16. They may not actually realize that they're a narcissist
It's hard to imagine someone not realizing that they are so self-centered that they don't even realize it and that's one of the things that makes cutting them off even harder.
