Beginning our teenage years is never easy. It is an awkward time, and people aren't so nice. We are trying hard to find ourselves as well as focusing on school, sports, and anything else that might take up our time. As we struggle with friendships, relationships, and everything else that life chooses to throw at us, we can get quite lost in it all. As I am leaving the teenage years, and transitioning into adulthood, there are so many things I wish I could go back and tell myself.
When I was thirteen, I went through an awful time where I was constantly targeted by a group of girls who I thought were my friends. They turned on me for no reason, and they did some very awful things. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me, because I knew I didn't do anything to harm them. It weighed on me heavily as I spent my Friday and Saturday nights at home by myself. It was awful and I felt as if I was the worst person in the world. I didn't think I had a place and I felt so unwanted and so sad.
Looking back on it now, I would've told myself to hang on. Everything would work itself out. I think that I struggled so much because I expected people to give to me in return what I give to them, but the truth is, you can't count on people. It is so hard to find those to trust. The worst part about it all is, it never ended. I am still dealing with horrible people who find joy in hurting others. Just when you think it is getting better, something else will come up. It feels like a never-ending cycle of hate. However, I have managed to do okay.
All that you can do is stay kind to everyone. No matter how hurtful someone can be to you, and no matter how bad you want to lash out against them, don't do it. You must simply remain composed and never give others a reason to impose hate upon you. If you choose to give them what they want (anger), then they will continue to harm you more. The kinder you are to them, then their fun will be over. I once had a specific girl continually target me, post hurtful things about me on social media, and spread rumors about me around school. I didn't know what to do, and I was feeling destroyed everyday. Through it all, I remained kind. I kindly confronted this girl, and she was so shocked by my kindness that she didn't know what to say. To this day, I haven't been bothered by her ever again.
Looking back on everything that has happened to me, I wish I could go back and tell myself that it is not worth it to worry about what those people told me. I wish I could show myself that the hurt I was feeling was unimportant. I wish that I would have known that everything would have worked out. Everything has always turned out okay, no matter what, and with kindness, it always will.
