I Got Up Today

I got up today. It may not seem like much, but it is a feat of its own. I stared up at the ceiling and thought for a moment. Not about anything in particular. I stretched and got the faint smell of sweat, a result of running away from things that haunt me in my slumber and felt the mangle of hair beneath my head from the constant tossing and turning. I sat up and took a long look around my room that looked as if a tornado stopped by the dump before coming here. There is strategically placed trash, cups, and bowls throughout my room. At least it's an organized disaster. My eyes rest upon the pill bottle next to my bed and I remember to take my medicine.

I reluctantly drag myself out of bed and head into the shower. The water is too warm and stings last night's mistakes. Plus, I heard if you wash your hair in cooler water, it will keep the dye more vibrant for longer. I hum myself a sad tune and vigorously scrub my scalp. It still feels greasy from all the failed attempts of energy to bathe myself. I step out of the shower and feel my stomach grumble. I haven't been feeding myself properly. My mind wanders as I brush my teeth and weigh the options of quick fast food. I go back to my horrid room and open the closet in search of clothes for the day. I haven't had energy to do my laundry, no clean clothes.

Jeans it is. Gross.

I head back to the bathroom and brush my hair and make a decision to look at myself in the mirror. I see lifeless and faded hair, dark sunken eyes and a sad, pale face. I rub at my eyes. I slept in my contacts, yet again. I grab my things and head out the door towards work. On the way, I take a couple puffs of my cigarette and decide to throw it out. I make a last-minute decision to get a salad instead of fast food. Good things in, good things out. Right?

Today was a good day. I know it may not have seemed like a very good day, but for some people that is considered a great day. I have found myself at one of my lowest points, however, I fight to make that tiny step out of the dark. Good days do not come all at once. You have to give yourself credit and praise for the small victories. I showered. I fed myself. I took my medicine. I threw out a bad habit for the day.

You may be at one of your lowest points but give yourself credit for those small victories. Even if they are as small as "I got up today".