Growing up, I was taught that everything that I did had a purpose. Go to school and get good grades to get into a good college. Study hard in college classes to keep up my GPA. Learn to network to get an internship to build up my resumé. Show employers my high GPA and long, detailed resumé so they will give me a well-paying job. These were the things that I was supposed to do, to do well, to be successful.

Going in to college, I didn't have a distinct passion for any particular area of study. I liked following politics, so I played with the idea of studying political science and maybe supplementing it with a second major in economics. Then that changed to a lone economics major because I liked a class that I was taking, and I figured that there would be more employment opportunities in the economics field. Then, I heard that finance was really similar to economics and that the job prospects with a finance degree were superior to those with an economics degree, so I applied to the business school and declared my major in finance after taking an introductory finance course in the spring of my sophomore year.

Everything was going well! I was on the path to a (vague) career in finance. I had an internship lined up for the summer where I would get great experience and live a life that was planned and expected of me.

I ended up hating my internship. Not that every aspect of it was terrible-- I certainly learned a lot about working and conducting myself in a professional, corporate environment, how to use Excel, and how to network with executives, all things that could be useful in the future and that I am grateful for learning. But the problem was that at the core, I really didn't like the corporate environment. Specifically, I didn't like the oversight, the work that I was doing, and I just didn't have a passion for contributing to a company and being one of the so many other employees.

That's not to say I don't like my major or the things that I'm learning in class. I like learning about finance, about valuations and methods to raise capital, but the traditional opportunities that come from a finance degree are not opportunities that I am truly passionate about. I came to the conclusion that I was following the traditional path because that was what was expected of me, not because it was truly what I wanted to do. And if I do not have the passion to do something, I will not be motivated to be successful in whatever venture that is.

What are my passions? There are two that I can easily identify. And I'm sure that there are others just waiting to be developed. The first is a passion for people. In interviews, I've always said that a strength of mine is that I am a "people person." I love meeting new people and interacting with them, learning about their backgrounds and experiences. Interacting with people gives me a sense of the diversity of the world and grounds me by showing me that there are people with different struggles and desires and aspirations than myself.

The second is a passion for fitness. As far back as I can remember, I have always involved in some type (or several types) of sport throughout my childhood. Figure skating started when I was seven years old, and as I moved into middle school it became more intense. During high school, I competed in state and national competitions, and I enjoyed my extremely active lifestyle. College gave me an opportunity to skate with a team and develop strong friendships with the girls that skated with me, but college was also when I started seriously spending time at the gym conditioning and lifting. And I have to say, I LOVE being at the gym. I love the effort that it takes to get through a workout. I love the feeling of accomplishment that I experience when I'm able to lift more than the day before. I love being able to see real, tangible results after weeks of effort and determination. And I even love the days where I feel weak and I can't perform to the standards I set for myself, because I can look back and say, "it will be better tomorrow." And it always is, because of the mindset I have developed.

Ideally, I want to leverage my degree in finance to pursue these passions. But the question is, what exactly am I going to do? How will I go about combining my passions and talents to create a path for myself that I WANT to follow? The answer: I don't know. But what I am sure of is that regardless of the path I choose to take, I am determined to follow my passions. And that is what will ultimately make me successful.

So, after much stress and overthinking, I realized that it is indeed okay that my sh*t is not together, and what ultimately matters is that I am following my passions to do what I enjoy and that the rest will follow. I'm excited about what the future holds, and I can't wait to get started with whatever I will ultimately do to be happy and fulfilled.