Growing up, I tried everything I could to fit into various friend groups. I was overly nice to everyone in hopes they will like me or include me in their group. I tried hard to be "perfect" so people would want me around. I said what I thought people wanted to hear, not what they needed to hear. Nothing I ever did seemed to work, I still felt excluded all the time and like I wasn't a part of the groups I thought I was. The pressure to be something I wasn't ended up taking a toll on me. Although, I believe that pressure came mainly from myself and from society, not from my friends.
In elementary school, everyone makes friends with everyone. But when you hit middle school, some - well let's be honest here, most- of those friendships come to an abrupt end. We can be left wondering what we did wrong and try to get them to like us again, but the truth is, those friendships ended for a reason. I went from friend group to friend group growing up and it seemed like none of them would stick around. Throughout my whole school career, I had three friends that stayed with me the whole time. Through elementary, middle, high school, and even college now. Those friends I treasure dearly.
I lost many friends throughout high school, so much to the point that when I started college away from home, I felt lost and like I didn't know who I was or who my friends were or even if I would make any friends in college. I started working my freshman year of college on campus and pretty much from freshman year to junior year the only friends I had in college were my freshman year roommate and my coworkers. Then I decided to join a sorority my junior year.
They tell you all the stereotypes of sororities in movies and on TV: They only party, they buy their friendships, etc. But here's the thing, I felt like I had finally found a place where I belonged. Now and then I do still feel like I don't fit in with the girls I hang out within my sorority, but honestly, I feel like that is just how life goes sometimes. I don't have as much money as most of them do, I don't have the time to go out with them much, I don't wear the fanciest or most expensive clothes. But comparing yourself to others isn't going to do much about it.
So, what if you don't fit in with the groups you surround yourself with? Take each moment you have as a blessing and cherish them. And hey, I don't fit in anywhere and that's something I wouldn't trade for the world.
