When we wear an outfit we love and someone says it looks bad, we immediately take it off, right? When we want to get a tattoo/piercing and someone says that it looks trashy, we worry about that, right? When you want to stay in and someone says "that's lame," we worry about that too right?
Yes, I'm guilty. My whole life, I have been plagued with this notion that I have to please everybody, that I have to do something notable so people will be proud of me. There have been many days where I have felt like I was not who I was meant to be because I was living my life for other people. I was doing things that I thought were expected of me at the time.
Being a "people pleaser" might mean:
You are waiting for someone to say "it's okay, go ahead we got your back!" to do what you really want to.
or
You're making excuses for not "finding your thing" and getting on the path to doing something awesome and worthwhile.
Guess what! YOU ACTUALLY CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE.
Weird, right? It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's simply impossible to please everyone. The more you try, the more disappointed in yourself you will be. Some people just aren't going to like you—but that shouldn't affect your life.
You don't need the approval of others to make any decision. This way of thinking is linked to a lack of self-confidence, as if other people know better than you do. YOU know what's best for you and everyone is different. Not everyone is going to like everything you do and everything you are. As long as you're causing no one harm, just keep doing you and you'll find that people will appreciate you more for that.
The most opinionated people are typically the ones throwing out negativity. You don't need that in your life. You can listen to everyone's opinions and take them into consideration, but do not go overboard to meet everyone's expectations or what you think their expectations are.
This is about you and your actions. If someone is telling you how to run certain aspects of your life or do a certain job with no intention of supporting or helping you, or you're going out of your way to continuously make someone happy who wouldn't even bat an eye for you, it's not worth it.Thinking about what you want is not a selfish act, but it is a fundamental part of knowing yourself.
Quit wasting your time trying to be like somebody else. Live the life that you want based on your values, interests, and goals instead of fantasizing about the life that somebody else is living. While it is okay to be inspired by the actions of another person, it is important to learn how to develop confidence in personal decision-making skills. Be confident in carrying out your decisions even when you cannot be confident in the consequences they will fortify.
I challenge you to embrace your individuality. Pursue whatever passions inspire you and feel comfortable changing them if the time comes when you no longer feel excited about the pursuit of such intentions. Notice your imperfections and understand that, without them, you would no longer be who you were mean to be. Realize when you make mistakes and then be sure to take a moment to learn from those experiences.
And no matter what: Be your own person.