There is nothing but the barren statues of the landscape that has been powdered with a sea of white. 

The snow crumples under my boot as I walk away from the distant illuminating lights of a nearby village. The trees gently flowed as Aeolus himself was passing by. I am no stranger to these parts of the world, perhaps one day I'll be able to travel somewhere else.

" My child " I heard a faint whisper. I scanned my surroundings in fright. My jaw tightens as I hold back my tongue, I pull out the small knife from my back, as I will my legs to a stance, ready for the next move. SNAP. I turn around and see something coming closer. I strained my eyes to see a person with nothing but a hooded dark robe steadily come closer. I ready my knife only for a gust of wind and snow to shove me to the earth, and then he was gone.

My heart began to race, as I urged my body to move, and as I began to rise the voice returned.

“Hello, their child”

Whispered the faint voice from behind my head.

" Have you come to finally take me away?" I replied. I realized who the being was. The thing I've been searching for, the one who will take my sorrows away

"It depends on who do you think I am"

"Who are you then?" I replied masking my fear behind my stonewall expression.

"I am everything, and I am nothing, I am past, the future, I am the truth, I am mystery"

" then you know what I seek"

"You seek an end to your pain, you seek freedom from your bonds, my child you have endured much, and the fact that you hold on tightly to that weapon in your hand shows how frightened you are of the world"

" I'm not afraid of the world, I merely want to leave it behind, leave it all behind, there is nothing there for me.

“ You have seen death, you have experienced loss, you have held your world on your shoulders as Atlas has before you.”

And now you have come searching for him for the third time". I shift my gaze towards the sky, the sea of stars, the beacons of different worlds so far away. Long I remember when I would look up getting lost in the endless sea of stars wondering if I will ever be there. But as I continue to ponder I feel my body twitch, I hear the voices rush in as my heart races again. And then the walls come down. I collapse to my knees and crumple as my emotions betray me and allow the levy of my eyes to break letting the tears escape. I have come searching for death. I have come for the third time, hoping for release from my war.

The spirit lowers themselves down to kneel right beside me, I yell

"I want to die, spirit, I am so tired, I am so alone, I don't even know why I continue, I'm not wanted, I endure and endure, and I am so tired" I shout this at the top of my lungs.

“ Child, I know your pain, I too have felt it”

The spirit rises and rolls his left sleeve and shows me the wounds on their strong and well-defined arm, that shows the scars that wrap around their arm as if a tiger had clawed at him. My eyes widen as I see they show me their hand and I see the crescent-shaped scar on his knuckle.

"No, it can't be" I gasped as the spirit removed their hood and confirmed my suspicions. The spirit is an older man, with sunken eyes and cheeks, a full beard with a vast amount of greys, as well as long thick hair that reaches to his shoulders.

"Hello Resinosa" said the spirit.

" But how? I thought you were a spirit?"

" Indeed I am, and I am not, I am a representation of what you could become if you allow yourself to be dragged on your current course"

"What do you mean?"

" the world has inflicted pain onto you that much is true, and this pain has allowed other parties to poison your mind, they have influenced you in a way to indulge in your vices, to harm yourself, this false promise of comfort and release will not give you the satisfaction you seek once you cross into the otherworld"

“I know this”

"Then why do you continue? you survive this life day in and day out, why do you not take the potions to help you, why do you not trust in her?"

" I don't want to burden her with my pain, I don't want to become a slave to chemicals spirit"

"You are not a burden, you are one man, you have done and accomplished more than you could ever imagine, there is a path that you can take, it will not be easy you will continue to stumble and fall, but do not make the same mistake I did and forget that you have time, do not waste it, and you are loved, allow yourself to accept it'

"For I am gone, and I want you to remember why you are named Resinosa, "

And with that the spirit of my future self has vanished, I stare at the knife, the same knife I used to cut into my skin, I inhale and exhale, wondering what had just happened. There are so many things in my head that frighten me, that make life hard to live, I think back to what the Spirit says and I take off my bag and search around for my reminder, I pull out the photographs of my loved ones, I allow myself to be transported back to those times, basking in the warmth I felt in those times

“I am sorry, my loves”

I will come back one day, but I need to find a way to bring life into me'

And so I dust myself off and continue walking, no longer seeking death for the time being but for my soul, the aspect I have lost so long ago.