I will always remember being the little girl who considered my thick and curly hair to be a flaw. For any special occasion I could think of I would ask my mom to straighten my hair which she did by literally... ironing my hair on an ironing board. I was always so excited to show up to school for my birthday or Valentine's Day and feel pretty.
This continued throughout most of elementary school until my mom got me a flat iron and I began straightening my hair every... single... day. As you can imagine I basically fried my hair over the years and any sign of a curl pattern was gone. By sophomore year of high school not only did my hair stop growing past my shoulders, but it was thinning out too. Although I hated having no length, I didn't feel beautiful if my hair wasn't pin straight at all times.
Senior year, after dancing for a couple of years and putting my hair through every high bun, teased mohawk, and half up half down hairstyle you can imagine, my hair totally hated me. It didn't help that I had been dying it red every three months for the past two years either.
I vividly remember washing my hair one day and as I went to straighten it I realized I liked the way it would twist and turn. For once I didn't hate the waves/curls and felt like I could go to school without using any heat on my hair. I received so many compliments that day about how great my hair looked and how it suited me better. I smiled most of the day and realized how many people didn't care if my hair was curly or straight. They cared about me.
This was the beginning of an important journey. I wanted to love my natural hair for so long but wouldn't stop using heat long enough for it to be healthy. Spring semester of senior year, I slowly put the flat iron away. I also began the process of getting the red hair dye stripped out so I wouldn't have to color it anymore. Within a few months, I had completely stopped using heating tools and I loved the changes I saw in the mirror. My curl pattern returned and my hair was finally growing. It even went back to its natural color. I felt as if I was seeing myself for the first time.
I noticed an inner change in myself and my mentality about what was and was not beautiful. For many, it is easy to wear their hair naturally on a daily basis, but for me this was - and still is - a big deal. My curls have become a part of my identity that I am proud to share.
I will admit that sometimes when I see girls with perfectly straight hair I feel a little envious, but I know that my hair curls this way because my mother's hair was curly and her mother's as well.
By wearing my hair natural I am embracing who I am and proving to myself that I am just as worthy of self-love as when my hair is straightened or curled or up in a messy bun. My hair journey has also been a huge step in my self-acceptance journey and I'm so happy that I can now embrace my curls as a beautiful extension of myself rather than feeling the need to alter them.
