How To Write When You Have No Idea What To Write About

How To Write When You Have No Idea What To Write About

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If you haven’t been in this position before, get out of my face.

You have to write something and you’re staring at that big blank space on your screen that’s whiter than the state of Oregon, praying it will reach out and take brilliant and beautiful information from your brain and wear it like a big, cozy and clever robe. But, it just glares back at you with the same dull, empty expression you’d expect from the old turtle at the zoo as it wakes up from a nap.


Trust me, I’ve felt that before. I’m feeling it right now, in fact. However, there are steps you, and I, can take to end the discomfort of staring helplessly at a blank screen until your eyes wither like a sponge in the desert.

For example, you can always, always, always use repetition. Sometimes it helps to just write the same word over and over and over and over again to fill up space and take up time while you think of something kind of kind of kind of kind of productive. You’ll never ever ever ever ever ever have to worry about a page minimum again!


Or, you can make really general statements that take a lot of time to narrow down to your stupid point. Like, in the beginning of your life, you were just a cell. Think about that. Wow. Just one cell. Look in the mirror. Now, you’re much bigger than a cell. In fact, you are a lot of cells. You’ve grown into a trillion cells. That means you are a trillion times better than you were when you were first conceived. That’s impressive. People get awards for “most improved” for doing a lot less than improving themselves by a trillion times what they used to be. You can do anything! You can build a spaceship, make out with Kate Upton or even pull the cork out of a wine bottle without a corkscrew. So if you can do that, you can find a way to make a general statement and take a lot of time to narrow it down to a single point while writing a paper.

A favorite tactic of mine is the attack of the rhetorical questions. What do I mean? Do you really want to know? You want to know what I mean by using a bunch of rhetorical questions? Let me ask you this: is a flower more beautiful in the rain or in the sunshine? Does a bird forget to sing if he does not sing for a long time? Are you afraid of the dark when you have someone beside you? Is the wind less bitter when you wear a coat, or are you just more prepared? If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does anyone care that a bunch of grass got squished? Did you answer any of these questions? Of course you didn’t. You probably ripped this paper in half and cursed my family. But you can’t blame me for having not written anything.

Profoundly, the most superlative gambit to writing when you have no bloody idea what you’re saying is to use elephantine, prodigious words over and over again. Don’t worry about being erroneous in your use of such ostentatious language, for your imbecilic reader won’t ever confess to not being in full awareness of such magniloquent language, and will simply dissimulate their familiarity with what you are saying out of a consternation of chagrin. Not only do photosynthesis words achieve the effect of hoodwinking your reader into believing that you are perspicacious and discerning, they also have very many letters, which extends your writing to a pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis degree.

The most important thing you can do when you are writing something, and don’t have the slightest idea of where you’re going with it, is to simply finish the paper by saying something that has absolutely nothing to do with what you were saying before. It will embarrass the reader into thinking they weren’t paying attention and make them think they missed something important. The blame is then moved onto them. I know it sounds weird. Seriously, if you ask her early and get her something nice like a teddy bear or chocolates, it is a lot more likely that the cute girl in your favorite sorority will say, yes, to going to your formal.






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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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The Football World Loses One Of Its Finest Players

Bart Starr passed away and NFL players, coaches, and fans all mourn the loss of the Packer legend, but his life and career will live on in hearts of Packer nation forever.

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Bart Starr passed away at the age of 85 in Birmingham, Alabama. The NFL lost a great player. The Green Bay Packers lost a hero. And, the world lost a true gentleman. Starr's legacy has surpassed his accomplishments on the gridiron. He inspired not only his peers but the generations that have come after him. He is — and always — will be remembered as a Hall of Famer, a champion, and a Packer.


Bart Starr was a Packers legend. Starr led Green Bay to six division titles and five world championships. As the quarterback of Vince Lombardi's offense, he kept the machine going and executed the plays like no other. His mastery of the position was a large part of the Packers success in the 1960s. Starr was also the perfect teammate for the perfect team. His leadership put him in command of the Packers. Starr's time in Green Bay will not be forgotten by former players, coaches, and the fans.

Bart Starr's resume is rivaled by few in NFL history. He played in 10 postseason games and won 9 of them. He led the Packers to victory in Super Bowls I and II and won the MVP award in both games. He was the MVP of the league in 1966 and was named to the NFL All-Decade Team of the 1960s. The Packers retired his number 15 and Starr has been inducted into the Packers and Pro Football Hall of Fame.


After his playing days, Starr would become the head coach of the Packers. He could not repeat the success he had on the field from the 1960s teams. His coaching years do not take away from his legacy as one of the all-time great Packers. Starr was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1977.

One of Starr's last visits to Lambeau field was on a cold November night in 2015. Starr and his wife attended a ceremony in which the Packers retired Brett Favre's jersey number. Starr was the perfect personification of what it meant to be a Packer. His most heroic moment came in the 1967 NFL Championship Game. The Ice Bowl came down to a third and goal in Lambeau Field's south endzone against the Dallas Cowboys. Starr came to the sidelines and bravely told Vince Lombardi that he can sneak it in for a game-winning touchdown. Lombardi then replied, "Run it, and let's get the hell out of here." Starr ran a quarterback sneak for the game-winner and the Packers were off to Super Bowl II. Without Starr, Green Bay would not have won a second straight Super Bowl. His leadership in big game moments will live with Packers fans for a lifetime.

Vince Lombardi: A Football Life - The Ice Bowl

Starr leaves behind his wife Cherry, his son, and three granddaughters. Packers fans will have a tight grip on the memories Bart Starr and the 60s teams created. Starr left behind a template for being a Green Bay Packer. He also left a template for being a good man and a gentleman of the game of football. He was a competitor and a leader. Packer nation mourns for the loss of one of the finest human beings the game has seen.

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