We girls like to convince ourselves we have the advantage when it comes to guys. We talk the talk and walk the walk, but once the walk ends and our heads come down from the clouds, reality reminds us that we are only human. When it comes down to it, you just can’t make a guy like you. So how do we know if he’s into us or not? Guys give away mixed signals as easy as they breathe, so sometimes it's up to us girls to take charge and figure out the terms of whatever is going on between the two of you. I grew up surrounded by my brother’s friends always going on and on about their perspectives of romance, so I’ve got a pretty steady understanding of how a typical guy’s mind works.

First off, is the connection between you awkward or free-flowing?

Often, we can have insane chemistry with someone, but every encounter we have with them is so unbearably awkward and there seems to be no way around it. I hate to break it to you, but if that’s the case for you, it’s best you leave the situation alone. Above all, you should feel comfortable around whoever you want to be with.

Does he have a decent reputation?

This can be tricky, because sometimes the guy’s reputation can be just a mask or false rumors. Girls should still be careful though, because we always want to believe we’re the exception. As amazing as you are, bad habits are hard to change no matter who you are. Listen to what people tell you; it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Is he in any way eager to talk to you?

We ladies often eat up excuses when it comes to this one. “Oh, he’s just busy,” “He wants to talk to me, he just forgets sometimes,” or, “It’s bro night,” are not substantial excuses. Perhaps those examples could be true, but regardless, if a guy wants to talk to you, HE WILL FIND A WAY TO TALK TO YOU. If he’s reading your texts and not replying on a pretty continuous basis, he’s most definitely on the other end of that phone reveling in the chase. Just be honest with yourself: it’s better to have to ditch the situation than to be pulled on a string.

Does he tell his friends about you?

Guys don’t gush about their crushes like girls do. Bro talk is a beautiful thing, but it is rare. A guy is more likely to just bring you up in casual conversation than he is to just rave about you like we girls like to believe. If he talks about you, that means you’re on his mind, and that’s a good place to start! A guy might also do the exact opposite, though I feel like this one is less frequent. He might completely avoid talking about you like you’re some kind of delicate flower that needs to be protected. Typically, guys only do that if they’re head over heels for a girl, though, not if they’re in beginner-crush mode.

Does he truly respect you?

THIS IS IMPORTANT. Respect can vary when it comes to guys. Think: Does he insult anything you value, even mildly? Does he try to convince you to do anything you don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable doing? Does he hold onto a habit that gets between you two? If a guy does not intentionally try to value what you value, he does not care enough to change his perspective for your sake – simple as that. I’m not saying the guy should change for you, but there’s a pretty basic understanding of what it means to be respected, and if you feel that he doesn’t meet those standards, then gently nudge him out of your life, because you don’t need that. Harsh, but true.

Does he like you for you or does he like you for other reasons?

Think about when he hangs out with you. What do you do? Do you always end up cleaning his apartment? Do you buy him a ton of things? Do you do his homework for him? Do you have any friends that he has showed interest in at any time? Do you have/do something he likes that he wouldn’t have/be able to do if you weren’t in his life? If you ever get the slightest feeling you are being used, pay attention to it and don’t push it aside. Because, if you are in fact being used, he will only get better at manipulating you, and you will only continue to like him more. A guy can be a wonderful person and still fall into doing this. Most guys mistake liking a girl for the things she does for him, so when it comes down to true feelings down the road, emotions get complicated for them. So just take the easy route and eliminate the possibility from the start.

Is he honest with you?

If a guy lies about who he’s with, what he’s doing, where he is, why he did something, etc., red flags should automatically go up. Girls like to believe guys have good reasons for lying, like in movies when the guy lies about his identity because he didn’t want the girl to get hurt or some crap like that. Strong chances are that is not the case. Just play it safe, girls. You’re too good to be lied to, hands down.

Does he ask about you?

Girls could talk about themselves all day, and guys could talk about themselves all day. When you like someone, you want to know about them, more than just on a surface-level basis. Guys are the same way! If he doesn’t ever ask about anything even slightly personal: why you like the sport you play, why you want to pursue the career you’re pursuing, how you felt when you won that award that one time, etc., then chances are he just doesn’t care to ask. Now, guys are simple-minded, so sometimes their lack of curiosity makes them seem like they don’t care, but typically a guy will ask something of value if he’s interested in you.

Does he give obvious signs that he likes you?

As much as we hate to admit it, guys are pretty straight-forward. If he waits for you after class, starts going to a place the same time you go, becomes substantially more excited when he sees you, or pays extra attention to you when you’re with a group of friends, then he probably likes you. Guys are kind of like puppies when they like girls. They get all cute and sweet and loyal and you’re kind of like this is weird but I like it.

Does he treat you differently than other girls?

If you’re crushing on a smooth-talker, chances are he’s got a lot of girl friends. Watch the way he talks to other girls. His behavior and body language will be more posed, and he’ll usually be more talkative and engaging with girls he views as friends. As he comes closer to you, he’ll relax a little more; his smile will be more familiar and genuine; and your conversation will be more insightful, as opposed to surface-level and posed. Note: A guy could text a million other girls and still like you, so be careful about the stereotypes! Some guys just make better friends with girls, just like some girls make better friends with guys! Just try to determine whether or not he treats you in a noticeably different way.

Look ladies, we are smart and intuitive, but love often blinds us and we fail to see signs that are right in front of us. We girls usually have to do the deciphering when it comes to figuring out emotions; guys aren’t usually outgoing and overtly-chivalrous about their feelings. We girls over-think things, make assumptions, and give guys the benefit of the doubt, and that is what ends up confusing us so much. Just take a deep breath and be practical!