We've all seen that scary movie where the characters do the exact opposite of what we want them to do. Where do they end up in the end? Dead, most likely.
My roommate and I were complaining about scary movies one day, when she told me that she had made a list of things for those characters to do so they could, you know, survive -- or at least make it far enough into the movie that we actually care about their death.
This is what my roommate came up with:
1. Don't go toward the creepy noises.
Seriously. They always go towards the noises. And with nothing in their hands! What would you do in that situation?! I know I wouldn't go towards it. If I were to, I'd at least have a bat in hand. Otherwise I'd probably find somewhere to sit, hide, and wait it out.
2. If a door opens by itself, go out another door.
If there isn't another door, either play dead or fight and flight. Too often, they will go through the door and foolishly look around to see who or what may have caused it. That's definitely a red flag, and they shouldn't do it. Period. Leave. Or fight, then leave. Just keep yourself safe!
3. Never move into a house where a family has been murdered.
I mean, what makes anyone think this is a good idea? Unless the murderer of that family had a vendetta against them, what makes you think the killer won't come back for more? You'll most likely be next on their list. Before moving into a house, check its history. Save yourself -- save your family. It's not worth it. I don't care how pretty those windows are.
4. If you find a box of video tapes somewhere in your house, do not watch them.
No. Even if they have fun titles on them such as "Pool Party '66," there probably isn't anything good on them. You'll most likely find someone's murder on them. Then, you'll be responsible for reporting it to the police. So, in order to save yourself some trauma and scarring, just put the videos away. Throw them away, light them on fire -- just get rid of them.
5. While running down a staircase, run along the wall.
It's safer, honestly. If you run straight down, A) you have a chance of slipping and falling over your own feet; B) you can't see behind you; and C) if anything is in front of you while you're coming down, bam -- you're dead. Running along the wall can eliminate all of those problems, and you'll live to see the sequel!
6. If your car breaks down in an unknown, scary-looking area, do not leave it (especially at night).
My advice would be to stay in the car. Call for help immediately. Do not go out and explore. The car provides a roof over your head, and protection on all sides. The only thing you gotta watch out for is the back seat.
7. Use the buddy system!
"You stay here -- I'll go look."
How about no?! Do childhood principles mean nothing to you now that you suspect some sketchy person is out to get you? I understand wanting to be brave and trying to save the other person, but think of the advantages of using the buddy system. Getting attacked? Both of you can fight the sucker 'til he's down. Being chased? Split up. This is the only time that's acceptable to go off on your own. The killer can't go after both of you at once.
8. If you feel like there's someone watching you, there probably is.
You know that feeling. Everyone knows that feeling. You always turn around to check, too. Most of the time it's nothing. Or is it? My advice: run. Run fast.
9. For God's sake, turn the lights on.
This one is literally my biggest pet peeve. Thomas Edison created light bulbs for a reason! I understand the whole idea of not wanting the bad guy to know you're home, but come on. If they're in the house, and you know they're in the house, you might as well turn the lights on. How bad could it be? Wandering around in the dark isn't going to help you at all. If anything, you're just giving the guy a better chance to find you and kill you. I know you're clumsy. You're gonna find something to knock over and break, giving you away. Turn the lights on.
10. You can't get rid of the Babadook.
'Dook ... 'Dook ... 'Dook. Don't even try. Turn him into a nice household pet ... that you keep hidden in your basement.
