Did you feel too much as a child and now you've conditioned yourself to feel nothing and apathetically walk though life? If so through calculation and not through feeling you may have realized that operating in a functional way means going though some sort of counseling and learning how to feel genuine emotion learning how to pretend to feel things. This is quite the daunting task if you don't know how; so use this article to give you the key factors in ways to create the illusion that you do in fact, have emotions.

1. Match the energy.

The Most crucial thing about having a successful conversation or being in a group is matching the energy. Just react the same way the others are interacting. Just treat the situation like a mirror game, it doesn't even matter if you know what's going on or not just that it looks like you do. As you master matching the energy you'll start to pick up phrases that other people say in reaction to certain things, allow yourself to re-react in a similar way, solidifying the illusion that you are listening and know how to react. You may even start to develop an auto pilot where you don't have to focus on anything going on around you; trusting that you will match correctly.

2. Planned responses.

Some expressions are dangerously seeped in emotion, and having a planned response is vital for your mental (and maybe even physical) survival. Here are some good responses for the scary interactions. "I love you" - make a heart with your hands, it implies the feelings are reciprocated but you never have to say it (because you're too scared) (also this wasn't my idea it was a friend's idea). A hug - put your arms in the air like you're about to hug them but then turn to the side and dance like you got distracted. *complement* - wink. *deep heartfelt complement* - leave, hand carve a nutcracker, come back and give it to them. Getting a present for no occasion - say thanks and then throw it in the trash immediately.

3. Wear a mask.

I'm not talking about metaphorical masks. Special order some masks of your face and wear them according to how you think you should be feeling. If you find it necessary you can also order a large bag like a weekend bag and carry all the masks in it for when you need to change emotions. The weight of the bag and masks bearing on your shoulders is similar to the feeling of having emotions. And that my friends, is a metaphor.

4. Turn into Abraham Lincoln

As we all know, if Abe hadn't been shot in the theatre he'd still be alive today. Turn into him and give what the people want. People will think you're so cool they won't even care if you have emotions or no. You'll be doing a public service while simultaneously hiding behind the ultimate mask: the American Penny.