The musical Hamilton, written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, has gained an enormous amount of popularity in this last year, and many people, whether previous Broadway fans, hip hop fans, or musical neophytes are flocking their local theaters to see it performed live. That is, of course, if they are lucky enough to get a ticket before they all sellout. Hamilton spirit is spreading across our country like the plague of the twenty-first century. Luckily for you, we've comprised this list of stages of the dangerously contagious Hamiltrash virus. You're welcome.
Stage #1: Compulsive Listening
You find yourself playing the Hamilton album whenever and wherever you get the chance. This could be while you get ready in the morning, in the shower, on your way to work or class, during study time, on the toilet, or into the wee hours of the night. You may think you've got the infection under control, but don't worry. You'll be back.
Stage #2: Peer Pressure
This stage is shown in varying levels of intensity varying from a simple suggestion (i.e. "Hey, you should listen to the Hamilton album") to the moment when you plan a complex kidnapping of your roommate and tie them down with Hamilton playing over some loudspeakers with the volume turned up to 11. Don't ask us where we fall.
Stage #3: The $10 Founding Father
You find yourself with the urge to start rapping if you see a ten dollar bill or hear it mentioned in any casual conversation. You will likely be unable to stop until you sing to the very end of the song. Your friends know this and specifically avoid the mention of ten dollar bills.
Stage #4: Honorary History Major
You know exactly how many ships were in New York Harbor. You know exactly when Thomas Jefferson came home. You know the exact contents of the Reynolds Pamphlet. You can probably consider yourself a self-taught history major with as emphasis on the life of Alexander Hamilton. (And you finally understand the "Aaron Burr" card in Cards Against Humanity.)
Stage #5: The Nickname Basis
You refer to to Hamilton (the musical or the man) as "Ham", "Hammy", "Good Old Hammy", or "Xander". You're probably already in critical stages of the Hamiltrash virus. This also goes for any of the other characters.
Stage #6: Non-Stop
Your obsession with Hamilton has surpassed the barrier of consciousness. You think and dream in Hamilton. You breathe in Hamilton and breathe out Hamilton. Every word you speak can probably be found within Hamilton. You are past the point of taking a break. You can't remember a time without Hamilton. Your life has been entirely infected by the Hamiltrash virus.
As of yet, no cure has been found for Hamiltrash. However, the researchers are not throwing away their shot. We are sure when they do they will blow us all away. For now, the best we can do is to support one another. Feel free to leave your own Hamiltrash stories in the comments below.
