How to Get Your A** Out Of Bed | The Odyssey Online
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How to Get Your A** Out Of Bed

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How to Get Your A** Out Of Bed
Melanie Schultz

Summer makes it almost impossible to wake up before 11 a.m.  You stay up late with your friends. Or you're watching the new season of Orange is the New Black in bed with a midnight snack.  This article is for the heavy sleepers who stroll into the kitchen anywhere from 11 a.m. to  2 p.m., only to be greeted by family saying, "We thought you died up there."  Thanks, Mom. 

For some people, waking up is as easy as rolling out of bed and saying, "Hello, world!"  For people like me, it is quite difficult to get out of bed when you, apparently, turn into a dying cow in the morning.

I hate waking up late.  At first, I feel well rested and at peace, but then I check my phone. Noon? Again? C'mon Melanie. I start feeling panicked, nervous, and lazy.  My heart starts beating fast as I realize I have wasted half of my day just laying in a bed. I want to enjoy every second of my summer. Summer is perfection. So, here are some tips on how to get your booty out of bed.

Tip #1. Set an alarm for two hours before you want to wake up. Wake up to these alarms, then go back to bed for two hours. This way, you will feel like you have slept in and feel like you have tricked the system.

Tip #2. Keep your windows open so that when the sun rises, it makes you rise as well.

Tip #3. Go to bed early. Duh.

Tip #4. Pick out some comfy workout clothes and shoes. This way, you can wake up and have no excuse for going for a morning run or walk with the sun and the birds.

Tip #5. Set an alarm on your coffee maker so that you can wake up to the smell of fresh coffee, or make some bacon -- that always make people wake up.

Tip #6. Workout before you go to bed. You will fall asleep easier and wake up more refreshed and positive.

Tip #7. If you drink the night before, make sure you eat before, and drink a lot of water during. A hangover is a surefire way to make sure you sleep all day.

Tip #8. The moment you wake up, smile as wide as you can. This will make you happier and more willing to say, "Hello, world," instead of, "F*ck off, world."

Tip #9. Power down before bedtime. I know that my phone is a top reason why I stay up so late each night. Stay alone with your thoughts some nights. Get to know yourself.

Tip #10. Put your alarm clock across the room so that you stop snoozing.

After trying all of these tips, if you are still not a morning person then you should get some sleeping medication. However, maybe you were just meant to be a dying cow in the morning, like me.  And let's be honest, sleeping in is the best.


Keep sleeping my friends.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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