Listen, in this day and age, we’re confronted with a smorgasbord of — colorful — personalities. We live in an age in which we are more divided than ever, and it’s easier than ever to communicate with those who don’t share your opinions. Social media sites like Facebook and Twitter have become a trashcan fire of horrendous arguments on everything from how you should pour your cereal to gun control. It’s draining and ridiculous to watch these ‘debates’ unfold.

I’m here to set the record straight. You’re allowed to hold whatever opinions you want. It is your fundamental right as a sentient human being, and it is your right as an American to voice those opinions… However…there’s a correct way to communicate those opinions; it’s important to understand your environment and your audience and to know when it’s NOT OK to share your opinions for the sake of peace. Let’s dive in.

Here’s a fictional scenario for you. Imagine if you will, my dear reader, that you hold a strong contempt for fancy coffee chains. You hate their high prices, their froufrou drinks, their unnaturally peppy baristas, and their ugly green logo that’s been popping up all over your town.

Great! I’m glad you hate them, I do too! We agree. Wonderful. This has been a great conversation, and I’m glad we bonded over the topic. But what we’re not going to do is go into the closest Starbucks with a gallon of coffee we brewed in your dirty Keurig 20 minutes ago and force our opinions down the throats of the people enjoying their $6 lattes.

“BUT WHY?! I hate those people!”

Cool! Listen, that’s OK. But nothing you do can change their opinion on their expensive coffee. Not screaming at them from outside the shop, not laying a 10,000-word research paper on how capitalism is destroying small-town America, and especially not shoving your room temperature, home-brewed, bean water down their throats.

They’re inside Starbucks, they’re enjoying themselves, it’s not cool to ruin their vibes. You’re allowed to think they’re wrong, you’re allowed to dislike them, you’re even allowed to think you’re superior.

But why act on it? It just makes you look like a total dick.

Let’s apply this to something like gun control or abortion or any hotbed issue you wanna think about. Just like your nasty coffee that you cling so dearly to, it’s not cool nor helpful in any way to force your opinion on someone else. It is OK to be vocal about your opinion. Tweet about it all you want, put it on Facebook. But for Christ’s sake, leave other people alone.

If someone wants to comment on your post and start an argument that’s fine too! They asked for it! You can still get your point across in a non-dick kind of way. We can only move on from where we are if we’re cooperative. We will never succeed if we’re just yelling back and forth at each other. No one is listening to each other, and even if they were, no one would be screeching anything meaningful. It is through kind, respectful debate that we will change things.

I don’t like coffee at all actually, but I don’t yell at people who do. I don’t like current gun regulations, but I don’t go to shooting ranges and scream at the patrons. I know that not everyone agrees with me on everything. I’ve come to terms with it. When we start separating our emotions from our opinions and start focusing on real, tangible action we will finally start moving forward. Form a protest, host a forum, make activist art, tweet important articles, go VOTE for God’s sake!

Fighting on the internet isn’t helping anyone. It’s not going to change the mind of anyone. It’s not going to create the change I know passionate people want to see. It’s up to you. It’s up to you to find others that think like you — that’s where strength comes from; not from division, not from yelling, not from disruptive acts. It’s unity. It always has been. It’s time to work towards that.