I'm a 22-year-old single hopeless romantic and cuffing season is upon us. Society tends to put the burden of romance on our shoulders once November hits and Mariah Carey begins singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" in every store. I've been on multiple dating apps -- Bumble, Tinder, Hinge; yet, I find myself not wanting a serious relationship at my age. Although, I claim to be a hopeless romantic, I blame my avoidant attachment style for bread crumbing each digital lover I never meet.
I already have the script memorized and 'copied and pasted' from my notes: "I'm too busy, honestly. I have a great group of friends that I hang out with and I bury myself with school and work." There are times when you feel isolated in your social circle as a third or fifth wheel, but you have to remind yourself that there's still so much growth and memories to be made. I find that my lack of experience with relationships has benefited my friendships in the long-run. I say cheers to the wine nights, birthday dinners, matching pajama movie nights and mile-long walks from the bars with the soulmates I've found in college.
In this period of 'romance' where the Kyle's from Lady Bird are who we faint for and the Tyler's in our DM's who think a fire and tongue emoji is all it takes to win us over for an outing of cheap coffee -- The biggest romance of all is with our single selves. While there's no "significant other" in my life right now, I aspire to significant things. For example, my dreams don't exactly revolve around falling in love with a person, but rather falling in love with the life I make for myself, like completing graduate school and achieving the dream job (WhoWhatWear, I'm looking at you.)
It takes compromise to achieve your goals and falling in love is something I've knocked down a few bullets on my list. Significant others in your early 20s are just plus ones on our rides through life and how romantic would our lives be if everything we ever imagined for ourselves came true? At this point, you think I'm some lonely cynical b**ch who is power tripping on her feminist soapbox. I still believe in true love -- I just believe we live in a time where true love can be postponed while we pursue a need for self-actualization.
I do wonder if it's naive or hopeful to think we will all fall in love with someone one day. Until then, even if I do end up as a cat lady like my neighbor who travels to Spain every year or find my Armie Hammer and successfully live the life of Elizabeth Chambers-Hammer. I am more than thrilled to soak up every single independent second of my singleness.
A toast to being single and living our ultimate romance with the friends and family who love us for who we have created and become.