College students are famous for several things: constant study, being broke, eating ramen noodles with their hands, and complaining. Complaining is one of those things we humans do that is pretty culture-specific, so here's how to complain if you want to fit in at FHU.

1. "I'm not paying $30,000 a year for..."

If anyone is actually paying 30k a year to go to Freed remains a mystery (according to Freed's website the "comprehensive charge" is $21,950 and the total charge after room, etc. is $29,900 before scholarships and grants and all that stuff). Whether you're actually paying $30,000 to go to Freed is beside the point. 30k is the go-to hyperbole for complaining purposes. This really is the cover-all complaint. If you notice the dead bushes in the commons: "I'm not paying $30,000 a year for dead bushes." Tired of the fire alarm going off in all hours of the night? "I'm not paying $30,000 a year to be woken up by a fire alarm every night." I think you get it.

2. Anything about Gano

Gano is the official scapegoat for complaints at FHU. Gano gets A LOT of flack. It's almost a social norm to complain about it at this point, which is upsetting because without Gano I would have died of starvation my first semester. Nevertheless, to complain like a Freed student, Gano is not your friend. Ignore the whole "Don't bite the hand that feeds" mantra and pretend like you're well off enough to survive off of Hoop Cheese and Catfish Cabin for four years. But please, for the love of all things decent, do not be disrespectful to the people who work there.

3. Something about chapel

It's too long, too boring, too mandatory, etc. To complain like a Freed student, complain about chapel. What's that? You like singing praises to the Creator of the universe? Good point.

4. Mention another social club, or all of them

If Gano, tuition, and chapel are all currently being mumbled about, you could always mention something about another social club. How they don't care enough, care too much, look at you funny in the student center--I don't know, figure something out. If you're not in a social club, you could complain about the entire institution of social clubs as a whole. How their competition is lame, how you're above all that, etc. You could even complain about your own social club, lose all of your friends, and become a hermit.

5. Certain Elements of Makin' Music

Makin' Music is awesome (especially the showband [especially the drummer of the showband for the 40th MM show]). However, there are ways to complain about it without disrespecting one of the coolest most amazing parts of the Freed-Hardeman experience. For instance, you could complain about how sore you are from Makin' Music practice. Your calves, feet, back--all of it hurts, and you need to tell other people about it to insure that they're sore too. Also, you could complain about how you have to hold that ridiculous facial expression for 7 minutes (give or take). But, here's a protip: tread lightly when complaining about Makin' Music because a lot of people put a lot of work into making it into an awesome show for thousands to enjoy.

So, I hope this has helped you in some way understand the social nuance involved in complaining as a Freed student.

Oh, and by the way, if you want to cut Philippians 2:14 out of your Bible don't worry, only the Bible majors will judge you.