I spent three long years as a server in a popular chain restaurant. In the time that I spent as a slave to those with a credit card, I have acquired several behaviors that have stuck with me. I believe that my time as a server has drastically changed the way I perceive, judge, and ultimately behave towards people now. I find that I now judge a person who leaves anything less than a 20% tip for a good server, or somebody who is rude to a server for a mistake with their meal. Just as much as it is possible to have a bad server, it is quite possible to have a bad customer, thus setting off a chain reaction that will ultimately end up with all involved parties upset. So I thought I would take the liberty of helping somebody who may not know how to appropriately treat a server out a restaurant. For anybody ignorant to the struggle of the restaurant industry, here are some tips (including tips on how to literally tip,) and best practices for eating out:

1) Know exactly what is in your drink/food before you order it.

If you don’t like pineapple juice, don’t order a drink with pineapple juice in it; if you’re allergic to shellfish, don’t order a dish with shrimp. Just read the menu, it is literally that simple. Most menu descriptions are 50 characters or less, so if you don’t have the patience to read a dozen words, you have an obvious concentration issue. If you order an item that you claim you “didn’t know was in there,” you’re full of it. It is mandated that all ingredients be listed in the description as to prevent allergic reactions and things of the sort. Do not blame your server for ill-advising you, read the damn menu, it will provide all the answers you need.

2) Don’t ask stupid questions.

Please do not ask your server things like “what does this taste like?” and “what is your favorite menu item?” In full honesty, if you ask us what our favorite entrée is, we will point you right towards the most expensive item on the menu. Stupid questions are like the worst thing ever to a server, other than rude customers of course. Just to clarify, questions that may qualify as stupid would be questions that are clearly included in the menu, or questions that simply cannot be answered. For example, “what does this taste like?” or “where do you catch your fish from?” These ignorant questions will only frustrate your server, thus causing an attitude, and leading to an unpleasant dining experience for you…although it will be your fault.

3) Don’t get too personal.

Do not use creepy terms of endearment towards your server like “honey” or “baby.” Trust me, it’s been done. Do not ask your server about their personal life, their significant other, or their college major unless you plan on offering them a full time position on the spot. A server is there to provide you with a pleasant ding experience—on the most professional of levels. Just because your server is being overly nice does not mean he/she finds you attractive, it is simply because this is their job. A customer’s role in this scenario is to be cooperative and kind, and enjoy the experience. Should the server manage to leave a lasting impression, great, leave a compliment with their manager—on your way out, after you’ve left a nice tip for them. Which brings me to my next point:

4) Tip Well.

Servers make between two and three dollars an hour; this is barely enough to cover the taxes that are pulled from everybody’s paycheck. This means that servers only make money strictly off of tips. Ergo, when you only tip five percent, or stiff your server, they make no money for the service they just provided you. I’m not saying you have to over-tip, like I often do, but I’m just asking you to leave them 20 percent. If you’re going out to buy an expensive meal for a hot date, tip accordingly to the expense of that meal. If you do not have the money to tip your server, the answer is simple—don’t go out to eat. Stay in, make some Craft Mac n Cheese, because servers bust their ass to keep you happy and pay their bills. Shockingly, this is a concept that not everybody has seemed to grasp.

5) Consider how busy your server is.

When you find yourself waiting a little too long for your appetizer to come out, instead of blowing up at your server and demanding to see the manager (a tactic that rarely benefits anybody,) take a look around. Notice how busy the restaurant is, how many tables your server is running back and forth to, how often they come in and out of the kitchen. Do not make the mistake of assuming you are the biggest priority, because a good server learns how to equally prioritize all of their tables. Unless you have personally worked in a restaurant, you cannot fathom what a busy Friday or Saturday night is like, so please don’t be rude and act entitled, be understanding and as sympathetic as you can be.

Lastly, please take into consideration that 63 percent of America’s waiters and waitresses are people under the age of 30, often trying to work their way through school to get a good career and build a life. Consider that while you sit in a comfy air conditioned office earning a fat salary and going out on the weekends, these people are spending their weekends in a hot kitchen and walking around with sore feet and tired legs hoping to leave well after midnight with something approaching 200 dollars. Be nice, be generous, and most important of all, be understanding, because walking around in those non-slip shoes for nine hours is no easy task.