I have always loved school. My mom tells a story about how I cried on my last day of kindergarten because I did not want to leave. It has been clear since the beginning that I love learning. I have always loved reading and writing. I love talking about ideas big and small. I love it all because I am good at it.

Essays, assignments, and readings have always come easily to me. It was never difficult for me to connect with a teacher which allowed me to tailor my work to fit what they wanted from their students. I used to believe that this made me a good student and therefore prepared for college and the job market and whatever professional challenges life would throw at me. Now I am coming to realize that all it makes me is a good student; just a product of the school system.

I am currently a sophomore in college and facing some unsettling realities. I still enjoy classes and being a student. However, I am learning that simply understanding how to say what a teacher wants to hear or what a test wants to me to know isn't sufficient in school and in life.

For the first time in my academic career, I have open-ended assignments. Many kids are relieved when they have the chance to answer their own questions. The idea of being wrong is mortifying to me to the point that I am petrified and have no idea where to begin. I become walking self-doubt. I have no idea what to do when faced with my own creativity.

My schooling up to this point has reinforced the idea that intelligence directly correlates with grades. Anyone who has spent some time separated from high school or college knows that this is simply not the case. Even I know it. Still, I look to my report card for validation of some kind. It is so drilled into my brain that the only measure of success is what grade I make on a test.

This is troubling in several ways. One: it's incorrect. This way of thinking helped to inflate the egos of those who were good at working within the school system, but incredibly damaging to those whose intelligence and creativity is not captured by taking a standardized test. Two: It enforces the notion that talent and aptitude has to be measured to be legitimate. It is not only ludicrous but ignorant to believe that intellect and innovation can be quantified.

Yet, our education system is still setting kids on both sides of the spectrum up for failure. Those who excel within the system are in for rude awakenings when grades cease to exist. The students who struggled are told that they aren't smart enough to be successful in academic pursuits and therefore won't amount to much after graduation.

I am fortunate enough to go to a school and be a part of programs that are helping me relearn what it means to be creative and to ask questions for myself. I am grateful for the chance and the challenge.

My wish is that critical thinking (and not just the kind that you write about in an essay for English class) is fostered from the start. Our schools should not be structured to benefit a certain kind of student and leave the rest out. We all need the opportunity to create and think for ourselves without the stipulation of a grade. The priority can no longer be about class improvement on a test but focus on fostering an individual sense of confidence and intelligence through exploration.