Every horror movie in the history of the world seems to have a similar underlying plot: Everyone dies except one person. Sometimes an extra person will live, but most of the time, there's only one hero. Here is how you become that one person that lives to see the next day.

Did you hear that sound?

Nope. You didn't hear anything. Do you know why? Because the person that hears the creepy noise coming from the basement and goes to check it out never comes back. For the sake of surviving through this horror movie, you heard nothing.

Wanna get high?

Nope. The stoner always dies first. It's a law. If you're in a horror movie and you're under the influence, you will die within the first 10 minutes. If you get high while you're in a horror movie, you're practically begging for the serial killer/ghost/monster/etc. to kill you. You, the sole survivor of this horror movie, do not want to get high.

Let's play a game.

Nope. It doesn't matter what game it is, if you participate in it, you die. Truth or Dare? Nope. Poker? Nope. Dungeons and Dragons? NOPE. You, an intellectual, do not play games. And if someone breaks out the ouija board, you leave the building because at this point all your friends want to die.

Wanna hook up?

Nope. No matter what it is that's trying to kill you, it hates promiscuity. Probably because it's jealous, but still. If you hook up with anyone, it will kill you. Right after it kills whoever you hooked up with, it's going to kill you next. However, having read this, you now know better and will live to see the credits.

If you're sensing a theme here, you're probably right.

When you find yourself in a horror movie, you nope so hard. The person that doesn't go off by themselves, doesn't get high or drunk, doesn't play the stupid game everyone else plays, and doesn't hook up, always lives to see the end of the movie. Given your friends will think you're a stick in the mud, but hey! That's okay, within the next hour and a half they'll be dead!