Easy answer: Don’t use social media.

Not-as-easy answer: Learn to use it instead of allowing it to use you.

When I decided to start writing for the Odyssey not so long ago, I was very much looking forward to the writing part. I was also very much looking forward to being involved in a company hatched at my alma-mater just two years ago, which has grown at a ridiculous rate and who’s current mission is something I can get behind. I was not looking forward to becoming “that person” who is on every platform constantly promoting themselves and incessantly fishing for likes and shares, not to mention exasperated for not being regularly paid to do so. As this glassdoor.com review page and a recent reddit AMA with CEO Evan burns show, there are some very strong opinions (read: scathing) about the Odyssey; ranging from being called a content farm with no substance to complaints of conning thousands of college students into free labor for their benefit, and poor management to boot.

Ouch. I can’t speak to the management, but in convincing me to do this, one of my close friends (at a different college, sorry different college) did say something along the lines of, “I feel like everyone’s writing something for [the Odyssey], and I don’t get how their stuff is popular. You are a good writer.”

My friend is a fabulous cheerleader (<3), but she also isn’t wrong… I do see things pop-corning around that have obvious spelling or grammar mistakes which cause my inner-editor to just kind of twitch uncomfortably for these folks – some of whom probably couldn’t care less about writing. However, being such a young company, I think this is part of the growing process. Right now you really don’t know what’s going to get slapped up on a weekly basis, but as an optimist, I would hope that having this mass number of creators right now is growing the name, and then as it gains a foothold, the infrastructure will improve, the mentoring will improve, and the more dedicated people are going to still be here with quality stuff, and they’ll be rewarded for that.

So what does that have to do with (not) selling your soul to social media?

Because as of this moment, I have a mostly-public Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, Stumbleupon, Pinterest, a wordpress blog, and am a contributor to The Mighty, and I’m not going to talk about how long it just took me to hyperlink all of those damn things.

20-year-old me would be disgusted with myself. WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUTTING YOUR LIFE OUT ON ALL OF THESE THINGS? People do not need to know all about you, nor do they want to see your thoughts and ideas 24/7.

Except 23-year-old me is not 20-year-old me (thankfully).

I’m now a broke, unemployed college grad with a chronic illness (read: no cure). However, I’m tired of always letting things use me. This hasn’t always been the case; if you know me, you know I’m a helper – to a fault. I will keep working, keep going, keep serving, until I’m either finished or told to stop (by someone else). Whether it was a job, my grades, friends, family, strangers, you name it, my self and my health were a slave to making sure I took care of as many needs (perceived or real) as possible before I checked in with myself.

To not sell my soul to social media, I’ve needed to change my mindset. Just because I have all those accounts, does not mean I am living my life out on them or that I “need” them. I don’t. They’re tools. Most people don’t know how to use them or they don’t want to really use them, and end up being used; their views and opinions are shaped by it, whole arguments manifest and relationships can be compromised because of words and pictures that only appear in front of us because of some coding, a battery and a wifi signal brought light to an otherwise useless combination of glass and plastic.

Technology itself is not personal, but its effects certainly can be - for better or worse. Which means I can use it the way I want to promote and showcase my skills and ideas, not care what anyone says or doesn’t say about it (or who is following or not), and then reap the benefits in the real world. Any resulting online feedback from an article, a tweet, a picture, or share, is not going to particularly infuriate or enthuse me, because it doesn’t go anywhere. If any of the things I just listed resulted in someone contacting me, reaching out to me, hiring me, or making a friend, that is personal. And it would be a result of the tool.

So, am I now an expert? Hardly. However, I can at least separate social media from me as a person, and recognize that I am the one learning and using the media to get something I want, rather than allowing the tool or task to determine how I conduct myself.