Disclaimer: This is not an attack on women who wear heavy makeup or get plastic surgery. Everyone is beautiful, no matter what.

This is to men all over the world. Every girl wants you to read this. You don’t mean to, but you definitely do not see with your own eyes sometimes. The media serves as your contact lenses, and I am here to let you know that it’s not your fault, but something has to change about that.

To start with, I’ll give you an informational run down. For this to make any sense, you’re going to need to do some searching on your own. Do me a favor and look at your Instagram or Facebook (yes, seriously). Write down all of the famous women you follow.

If you don’t, just think off the top of your head famous women that come to mind. Now do some research and see what these people looked like before they became famous. I know sometimes men don’t see these differences as easily as women, so I’m going to give you a foundation to follow.

Examine the nose (you’ll notice most try making it thinner), the eyebrows and eyes (you’ll see most people follow a trend on these), the lips (most end up making them bigger), the stomach (this one is obvious), the butt (it magically gets bigger and changes shape), and the chest.

Notice these people focus on respectively slimming and plumping different parts of their bodies to create a particular shape, and more importantly, a specific beauty standard, which is usually an hourglass shape.

Not only that but when these people get older, they hide under so many facial plastic surgeries that they are basically building their own wax figure atop their natural body. People are molding themselves into their favorite celebrity or their favorite childhood Barbie doll.

If you sit down and take the time to process this, it’s truly sad. It’s frustrating as a woman in today’s society that people can’t feel happy in their own skin and their own unique features that set them apart from others.

It’s getting so ridiculous that people are super obsessive about things like freckles, beauty marks, eyelashes, and eyebrows. People are painting these things on, sometimes every single day.

And don’t get me started on contouring and fake tanning. You might not even realize it, but a lot of the women you know probably carve out high cheekbones and thin noses with darker colors for a temporary “fix” for having been born without them, not to mention the contouring of ears, chest, stomach, neck, legs, butt, and arms.

Look up these, because I will tell you they are not even that extreme to a lot of people. It’s a technique that allows women (and even sometimes men!) to bypass plastic surgery. Girls like me even use it in subtle amounts (usually only on the face), but I’m starting to realize the concept is hurting our beauty standards. Different backgrounds have different features. Irish heritage usually includes some hue of red hair and probably some freckles scattered all over the pale skin.

Native Americans are known for higher, more prominent cheekbones. And I could go on. The problem is not with enhancing or highlighting these features. The problem is with changing them or hiding them. Women are becoming less proud of their background and more concerned with having the iconic beauty staples that resemble one body type, one face shape, etc.

What I mostly want you to get out of this is the fact that we as women are not all going to look the same. Men do not either. Please start mentally identifying these things that women use to hide their true selves. And don’t shame someone for doing any of these things, either. If you see it with women you know and/or care about, then encourage them to embrace their natural bodies and rock their beautiful faces exactly and no matter how they are.

I know most of you men do not care about these artificial beauty standards, but now that you are more informed and aware, start helping by commenting on a girl’s photo with compliments of how stunning her eyes are, or her smile is. Or for bonus points, tell her in person. Do this instead of praising her body, which possibly may have been a pretty penny to achieve. Do this instead of telling her what you want to do to her. Nice, unexpected words go a long way.

You may make a girl realize how beautiful she really is, inside and out, before she decides to follow impossible standards and become just another clone. At the end of the day, beauty (at least under society’s standards) is temporary, but the beautiful underlying personality lasts forever.

In my opinion, though, we are all beautiful even as we age. It’s a telltale sign that we are growing, learning, and experiencing. Help women in your life never let that brilliant, natural shine fade. And you women out there, listen to your inner beauty and let it connect to your outer beauty. Make your own beauty standard, all just by being you. ;)