If you haven’t seen the video of Kodak Black talking about dating black women check it out (from 1:00 and on):

Now you're probably experiencing mixed feelings but I AM ANNOYED.

When I first watched it, I was confused so I had to re-watch it to hear what he said. It brought back a lot of memories. I am black. Born in Ethiopia and all my family is from that country although I'm pretty light compared to others from my country and of the black community.

Now, most of you would think I'm fine because of what he said but I'm not.

It brought back memories of never truly fitting in. I was too dark for the white kids and too light for the black kids. I never had an identity. I never really could figure out where I belonged. People would categorize me as black but I didn't feel the warmth of the community. I never felt a part of it growing up. I was confused. I didn't know where I could put myself but only where society put me. It really hurt me and it still does sometimes.

Which brings me to: "Is there colorism in relationships?"

YES.

Don't fight me on this, you won't win.

We control who we love. People every single day make decisions based off their conscious. Those decisions are made based off who's loved and who's rejected. We have to understand and be willing to look into the reasons why we have preferences and realize it's not because of science or harmless attractions but a reaction to our environments. As long as racism exists and as long as racism is systematically embedded in the day to day life of many, colorism will continue to exist.

I'm sure many women of the black community can relate when words are spoken of: "You're too aggressive for a female, can't you be calmer like the other females around you?" And they're all white around me. I lost count of how many times I heard this. Who else can relate to this struggle? Black men.

If there are black men who think like Kodak Black (which I'm sure many do), then the black community has a problem.

How do we expect black women to love themselves if the men of the same color and different color are against them? How do we expect them to know where they fit in? How do we expect them to find balance in their life?

It's not fair to the little black girl sitting down in a class full of white kids not sure how to fit in. It's not fair to the little black boy sitting down in a class full of white kids to be manipulated to think black love is not okay.

Kodak Black highlighted the insecurities of many black women in the community who don't speak about it for reasons I can't even bear to speak of.

Black love is OK.

Black love is right.

Black women deserve to be loved.

Black women are powerful.

Black women are amazing as fuck.

Black love is beautiful.

And don't you dare tell me otherwise.