How to keep the community safe from clowns
Start writing a post

How to keep the community safe from clowns

Now, we all know who clowns are and how they are supposed to act right?

How to keep the community safe from clowns

Now, we all know who clowns are and how they are supposed to act right? Clowns come in all different shapes and all have very different talents that they use to entertain mainly little kids. Clowns cover themselves in face paint, big shows and bright colored clothing that helps them stand out and are very easily identifiable. The problem here is that clowns have changed. They went from these kind of funny jokesters to becoming stalkers and kidnappers. Since mid-November of two years ago (2014) these creepy clowns have been popping up on nature trails and at peoples houses in a small town in California. The media took a slight notice and slowly the news started to blow up. Two years later (present time) clowns are on the top of the list on things we should be watching out for when we go out in night. Now I know some of you might be a little scared to go out when it is dark out but that is why I’m here. I am going to show you ways on how to survive clown attacks.

For starters, based what we have heard clowns tend to be hiding in parks. Either at a playground or nature trail you will most likely encounter one of these clowns. Obviously you can’t just scream “CLOWN” because a panic will happen and a bunch of people are going to end up hurt for no reason at all. Just follow these three steps.

  • Sneak around the back – walk around in a big circle around the clown so that he/she can’t see you
  • Climb a tree – walking on the ground could cause unnecessary noise, climbing a tree takes the noise away
  • ATTACK – jump off the tree onto the clown and take him down in one clean swoop

But if the clown is in a trail and jumps out on me, you may be asking right now? If this is the case and a clown does jump out of the bushes at you just take out your phone. With your phone ready to go, you can record yourself beating the living hell out of the clown OR you’ll end dead because the clown was really "bout it" and wasn’t playing any games that night.

Another place for clown sightings are on the side of the road. If you go to Instagram, Facebook or even YouTube you can find numerous videos on clowns being seen while driving. For whatever reason, the person holding the camera/phone is freaking out the majority of the time which I just don’t get. The best thing to do is to just go ahead, and run it over. A car is faster than a clown anyways so there is nowhere for that clown to go. And if for whatever reason the clown holds on to the car, jump put and let the car crash AS A LAST RESORT. If you can find some other way to get the clown off your car, then do that first.

To finish It off, let’s talk about your house. When the clown sightings first started was in front of peoples homes, mainly on the porch. You can easily just grab a baseball bat or a pan from the kitchen and knock his ass out no problem. If you are not home though, that’s a different question. Try to get someone to hook up an automatic flamethrower above the door. You have to make sure it blends in perfectly and that you also have cameras set up and linked to your phone. This way whenever a clown decides to show up at your doorstep you can just burn him/her up. It’s nice, quick and affective.

With all of these steps being followed, you should have absolutely no problem enjoying this year’s Halloween.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
How I Met My Best Friends In College

Quarantine inspired me to write about my freshman year to keep it positive and focus on all the good things I was able to experience this year! In this article, I will be talking about how I was able to make such amazing friends by simply putting myself out there and trying new things.

Keep Reading... Show less

29 Things To Do in Myrtle Beach, SC Regardless Of The Weather

Both indoors and outdoors things to do in beautiful Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

29 Things To Do in Myrtle Beach, SC Regardless Of The Weather
Dahlia DeHaan

In 2017, I moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - one of the most touristy places on the East Coast. And ever since then, I've befriended locals and done some exploring on my own to discover new, fun things to do in Myrtle Beach. Here are just a few of my favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Birthplace of Basketball

The NBA Playoffs are here. It’s kind of funny that my history kind of started out in the same place that basketball’s did too.


Basketball was originally created by James Naismith, a Presbyterian minister who taught P.E. at YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts. He invented the new game to keep the young men occupied inside during the winter. Borrowing ideas from rugby and a game he used to play as a boy, “duck on the rock”, he thought of nailing up boxes to throw a ball into. He couldn’t find boxes so he used peach baskets instead. The rest of the rules he made up in about an hour.

Keep Reading... Show less

I Met You At The Wrong Time

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.


I met you when I was in middle school and I thought boys still had cooties. I wore flared jeans, Aeropostale shirts, and had the dorkiest braces ever. I cared about what other people thought of me, and I definitely cared a lot about what you thought, too. You were older, and your friends made fun of me when I talked to you. I pretended it didn’t bother me, but it did. I sat two rows in front of you in class, and constantly tried to think of reasons to talk to you. Your hair was a curly mess. It still is. You graduated from middle school a year before me, and I missed you. I don’t think you even knew my name.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Problem With The NBA

Is the NBA losing to College basketball for some sports fans?

New York Times

The annual ESPY award show put on by ESPN was created to reward athletes from around the world for their hard work, skill, determination and more. When Former NFL superstar quarterback Peyton Manning was hosting the ceremony, and in the opening of the show, he absolutely shredded NBA champion Kevin Durant’s move to the Golden State Warriors to create what many sports fans called a “super team.”

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments