How It Feels To Be Me
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How It Feels To Be Me

I wrote this when I was fifteen and am now twenty. It's still a very accurate description of me.

How It Feels To Be Me

I would describe myself sort of like a closed book.

I remember the day that I wondered why bad things happen to good people. I thought I did everything correctly in my life just as God led me to. But what I discovered on June 9th, 2014 changed my life and will continue to change it for as long as I live. I questioned my faith that day and wondered if what I've believed my entire life was actually all a lie. It took me several days, weeks, even months to understand what God's big picture was. Losing my mother, one of the biggest heartbreaks I've ever faced, taught me how to be strong and never take time with loved ones for granted. Such a tragedy molded me into who I was always supposed to be. I still don't quite understand why bad things happen to good people, but maybe someday I'll know the answer to this question.

The front porch reveals reality. In the world we live in, nothing is ever expected. Life is not a fairytale and none of us live a perfect life. We all encounter hardships that we never thought we would ever have to deal with or worry about, but we can't let the past define who we are. From my front porch, I see hope of better days in the future. Everyday is a new day to start over, and make the best out of the days to come. I see mountains which remind me of how I have to climb through the obstacles of life to make my way to the top. The journey isn't easy, but the final outcome makes all the troubles worth it.

But changes came when I switched schools twice in seventh grade. My first year at Edgewood Academy was a huge change. I'd never been in a small school before where everyone knows each other and is so close with one another. I finally felt something that I never thought I would. I felt apart of something and like I belonged somewhere. I had many friends and great people around me everyday and I still do today. I've met some amazing people who I now call my best friends. Attending school at Edgewood has become one of the biggest life lessons. I discovered who I am and how loved I am. Growing up in public school, teachers didn't care about their students. But at Edgewood teachers genuinely care and love each and every one of their students. Love is such an important aspect of life.

I do not always feel like I fit in. At one point in my life I felt like I had no friends and I thought no one liked me except the one best friend I had. My ten to twelve year old self didn't understand why people made fun of me and what I did wrong to make people dislike me so much. I would change myself so people would like me because I thought it was "cool" to have a lot of friends. However, changing yourself and drifting away from who you truly are will never make you true friends. If people don't like you for who you are, then that's their loss; not yours. Life is not about "fitting in." Everyone finds their place and discovers where they fit in. Just as Dr Seuss says, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

But in the main I feel like a mirror; what you see is what you get. I will never change who I am so people will like me. The best people who come along in life love you for who you are despite flaws. Life is not about impressing people, but simply discovering who you are as a person. I've learned that what people think of you does not matter, and the only thing that does matter is how you see yourself. I see myself as a strong woman who learned from all the struggles I have faced throughout my life.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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