Here at the University of Florida, we are always striving to be better. Whether it's reestablishing our reign as the best team in the SEC or working to become the highest ranked public school in the country, we just don't settle for average. But lately, I have been hearing some complaints from underwhelmed college women when it comes to after-school activities, particularly those in or around Fraternity Row. In an effort to continue our tradition of greatness, I asked some of these girls to suggest ways to make the party scene at UF the best it can be.
Listen up, social chairs. Feel free to take notes.
1. Air conditioning
You may think this is a necessity, or even a basic college student right, but apparently, in the minds of some fraternity gents, this luxury comes after alcohol in the budget. After the hours spent getting ready and the dollars paid for an über, some girls feel that all goes to waste when they step into a room packed with drunk people. A simple, working air conditioning unit would do wonders for our insta-game. No one wants to see their fraternity as the location on a picture of girls with mascara running down their faces due to excessive perspiration. Not #SquadGoals.
2. Mixers
No one in their right mind would complain about free drinks, am I right? You fellas are doing a swell job in the department of plastic bottles of booze. Props to you. But what many frequent flyers are concerned about is the lack of mixers to accompany this grand supply. Contrary to popular belief, we'd prefer not to take straight shots of Skol. Invest in some orange juice, gatorade, or even some diet coke, if you're feeling fancy.
3. Straws
My roommates and I don't let each other leave the house at night without keys, cash, and straws. Why, might you ask? These plastic tubes of greatness not only eliminate the need to put your drink down while hitting the dance floor, they also expedite the process of getting "turnt," at least from what I've heard. If fraternities supplied straws, everyone would be happy.
4. Name Tags
I know this one may sound weird at first. I know we are not at a networking event or an AA meeting (although for some of us, that wouldn't be the worst idea). But we've all been that person that, after talking to someone for 20 minutes, have no idea what their name is. At the same time, we have all been the one who has had their name forgotten after 20 minutes. If wearing a name tag to a party was the social norm, it would save a lot of frat guys a lot of trouble.
5. New Themes
We've all seen the Anything But Clothes, the CEOs and Office 'Assistants,' and the infamous lingerie parties, but I think you guys are taking the wrong angle with this one. Girls have to spend time thinking, planning, and crafting the perfect outfit for any of these functions, and if you know anything about girls, you'll know that many of them are way too lazy to take on this challenge.
Why not make the theme something that every girl has in their closet? You don't have to stop there. Why not make the party theme something that every girl can wear her favorite outfit to? I'm talking about yoga pants, people. What girl is going to turn down a party where she gets to wear freaking yoga pants? Not to mention that every girl looks great in yoga pants and has full range of motion while she's getting down to yet another remix of "Trap Queen." Again, everybody wins.
6. Pizza
On the top of every girl's priority list when it comes to going out is pizza. No girl will ever leave your party if there is pizza. You're welcome.
