How To Cope With Depression And Heartbreak
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Depression And Heartbreak Hurt, But They Don't Define Your Life

Everyone has pain, big or small. It's all about how you get through it.

Depression And Heartbreak Hurt, But They Don't Define Your Life

Content warning: this article covers mental health topics and may be triggering for some readers.

I have struggled with bipolar depression for almost five years. I have good days where I am my normal self and everything is handy dandy. But I also have bad days where all I want to do is lay in my bed and cry for no reason at all, or to just sit somewhere with my knees to my chest just stare at nothing.

Most people don't know how their depression comes to be or what causes it. For some people, it's just there. While others, like myself, experience a trauma in their life that they can't let go of. For me, it happened during eighth grade.

I was bullied a lot for my size and going to a private school was very hard because everyone was very cliquey and you were with the same 30 or so kids for eight years. Rumors spread fast. I had a friend online who lived in Washington at the time. He had depression so we would talk every day, either talking on the phone, texting, or FaceTiming. I would always help him through his bad times. He was my best friend, the only one who never judged me. But one day I got into trouble with my parents and got my phone taken away. I was unable to talk to him and help him. I eventually got my phone back, but he wasn't texting me any more. I was very worried about him and proceeded to look through Facebook to find anything about his whereabouts. I even looked at his mother's page and what I found scarred me for life.

It was an obituary that said, "in loving memory of." My best friend had committed suicide during my time away.

I have blamed myself every day because I wasn't there when he needed me the most. If I had been better, I could have saved him. I always put on a smile even though I was breaking inside. I struggled to stay afloat, especially when high school came around. It became so stressful and I started to really feel the symptoms of my illness. To this day, I still blame myself, but a little less. I was able to seek help from people and got the medication I needed. I now know I have people who care about me and can help me. My story is as unique as anyone else's. I am finally able to openly talk about it, even though I still hurt every day.

You'll know when you hit rock bottom. It is a feeling you will never forget and you may experience it more than once. It feels like you have nothing left, that no one wants you, and that you're all alone. But there is one good thing about hitting rock bottom — there is only one way left to go and that's up. You can pick yourself up and make something new and start over.

Be yourself, be you.

It is 100 percent OK to cry.

Crying is the best way to just let it all out. Crying shows what words cannot express. You cry because you are in pain and have been strong for far too long. It is okay to cry. Let it all out. Drive to a place where there is no one around, get out of your car, and just scream and cry. It will hurt and you will think "this makes me weak," but the fact is, crying is the best way to cope with anything and it is the easiest way to finally feel better. Don't hold back. Let the tears flow for as long as you need to and just breathe. You have a heartbeat and you are breathing, you are alive. You are alive and that means that you can get through whatever it is that is bothering you. You can make it.

Your story is your own unique life. No one will have the same story as you. It is yours to tell when you are ready. Once you share your story, it will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders, but you must make sure you tell the right people who can help you. Some people need different things than others, depending on their situation.

Be yourself and find others who understand you and your situation whatever it may be

There are many different ways to help lessen the pain. One option is to talk to someone, you can't keep everything bottled up inside of you because once that bottle fills to the top, it will explode and you will explode. It will be hard talking about it, but you will feel so much better after you have let everything out. Find a person who you trust and who you know will listen to you and not judge you. It is also nice to find an outsider who can fully understand the situation. Also, there are many ways you can help yourself while you are at home. You can listen to calming music and relax. Or what works for me is writing or drawing. Even a nice bubble bath can help soothe your worries and frustrations.

There is pain and struggle every day in every single person's life, no matter how big or how small.

Every person has experienced their own version of pain and struggle. No one is perfect and everyone has their own story. You will be OK as long as you look towards your future. Your future where you are alive and, well, possibly with a family of your own. The promise of a future will help you cope with your present and will help you let go of your past.

Report this Content
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments